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Jaime

Registered

Member
Posts 250

0 posted 2003-09-17 11:19 PM

Time bending.
the solar quake
sudden and
apathetic

my vision

Mutation of
shark. I've
tasted too much
Looming in
the blue
darkness

I blend
into and become
part of

this habitat

Sometimes
silver sometimes
red. The
skeletons
left in my
teeth like
pulp

I've swallowed
too much

091703

the faeries creep into my hair at night leaving it in terrible knots

green_itchy_stuff
Senior Member

since 2003-06-26

Posts 1929
New Caney, Tx

1 posted 2003-09-18 12:50 PM

I like. It sounds "dead" figuretivly speaking. Nice write.

GIS

a trickle of music from a well
let it spill and roar like hell!

{Lord knows Im a VOODOO CHILD}-JIMI

eor
Senior Member

since 2002-09-26

Posts 959
blues & greys

2 posted 2003-09-18 01:52 AM

camoflauging...nice write

"For those who understand you, no explanation is necessary. For those who don't, none is possible."

Dark Angel
Member Patricius

since 1999-08-04

Posts 10095

3 posted 2003-09-18 08:17 PM

you've got me hooked!

Always a great write from you Jaime

Maree.

River
Senior Member

since 2003-09-16

Posts 627
my own little world

4 posted 2003-09-18 08:29 PM

i think this, as all of the poems i've seen of yours, is very very good. great Job! =) rok on chica!!!

"The Red, it filters through" - Chevelle

Insomniac Cat
Member

since 2003-09-23

Posts 69
The Land of the Dadaists

5 posted 2003-09-23 12:19 PM

Nice. I like poems that make me muse on them.

littlewing
Member Rara Avis

since 2003-03-02

Posts 9655
New York

6 posted 2003-09-24 05:20 PM

Jaime:

awesome writing
loved the whole thing

and here:

Sometimes
silver sometimes
red. The
skeletons
left in my
teeth like
pulp

nice metaphors
xxoo

cusick
Senior Member

since 2003-07-27

Posts 668

7 posted 2003-09-27 10:50 AM

The imagery you portray is so descriptive. A very good read. Maggie

Mad_Hatter
Member

since 2003-06-29

Posts 393
Canada

8 posted 2003-09-27 04:44 PM

I agree with everything everyone has said by my favorite lines are "sometimes silver, sometimes red". Beatifully done.

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