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Lexy
Senior Member

since 2003-01-28

Posts 1038
California

0 posted 2003-09-09 10:02 PM

Nothing to blame, but the hour.
The mintues grabbing hold of my ankles.
Shining silver, metal lips.
A machine like buzz levels in the air.
A steady run of words upon a callased tonuge.
Its deep now, a burrowing through my soul.
A metal spike driven in with crushing strength.
I beg of someone to come and feed off of my lips.
Tell me what you taste.
Is it blood?
Is it red?
A color no one sees.
Overlook the girl with the amber eyes.
Just keep on pacing in your cirlces.
You'll get farther then I.
I am just screaming in straight lines.
No endings.
Until now!

This needs a bit of help. Suggest away!

[This message has been edited by Lexy (09-09-2003 10:03 PM).]

Rosebud1229
Senior Member

since 2000-04-05

Posts 1813
North Carolina

1 posted 2003-09-10 12:21 PM

I like it just the way it is, loved the style of writing.

Endlessecho
Member

since 2003-09-05

Posts 398
I live within myself

2 posted 2003-09-11 01:32 PM

"Just keep on pacing in your cirlces.
You'll get farther then I.
I am just screaming in straight lines."

These lines are simply amazing!!

SharaRose
Member Elite

since 2003-07-19

Posts 2501
Somewhere out there~

3 posted 2003-09-11 02:04 PM

A viscious cycle. Of one I know of well.

Shara @-->--

Of sound, and speech let all lift the hearer!

Starsfalling
Member

since 2003-03-18

Posts 94
some where deep in the shadows

4 posted 2003-09-11 11:08 PM

wow i really liked this... awesome writting style man

There is no peace among the stars, only an eternity of carnage and slaughter and the laughter of thirsting gods

littlewing
Member Rara Avis

since 2003-03-02

Posts 9655
New York

5 posted 2003-09-12 02:12 AM

Lexy PLEASE
do not change a thing . . .
is perfect, the imagery is amazing
nice writing
xxoo

green_itchy_stuff
Senior Member

since 2003-06-26

Posts 1929
New Caney, Tx

6 posted 2003-09-12 01:08 PM

I read this earlier but I was in kind of a hurry and didnt get to reply. I agree with littlewing, this is awesome. Im adding it.

Craig

a trickle of music from a well
let it spill and roar like hell!

{Lord knows Im a VOODOO CHILD}-JIMI

eor
Senior Member

since 2002-09-26

Posts 959
blues & greys

7 posted 2003-09-13 07:55 PM

the lifestyle that i lead is vicisouly repeating a cycle a circle a sypher a sphere...anyway, don't change a thing fantastic write

"There never was a genius without a tincture of madness."

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