My Own Veil of Mourning - pipTalk Forums

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AniKay83
Member

since 2000-06-28

Posts 388
Missing Since 1999

0 posted 2003-07-28 03:25 AM

I dyed my hair the other day a burgundy so dark it was pretty much black.
Funny thing is, it only took in the front where I had cut long, shaggy bangs.
Yeah, like some kinda veil of mourning for my stupid soul.
You better bow your freakin' head, girl.
Hang it so low you can't see past your scuffed up shoes.
So put on your black dress, baby.
Wear it everyday from this day forth.

E v e r y ~ s i n g l e ~ s a d d e n i n g ~ d a y .

Don't even bother to wash it.
You're just gonna ruin yourself anyway.
SO WHO CARES?!
Sit in the back row of your funeral, the back of your mind.
Keep your head down and cry quiet.
No one wants to hear it.
You're the only one.
You were right to cover your face the day you died.
'Cause they shouldn't have to look at you, weeping for yourself so selfishly.

smooth people stray by slinking onward
to the limousine-society
found in alleys hot
with Humanity in passing

mysticpoe
Senior Member

since 2003-02-28

Posts 883

1 posted 2003-07-28 09:48 AM

You have a real nice writing style. Very good.

mysticpoe

If nothing is something
then everything is
our thoughts and feelings
and all that exists.

eor
Senior Member

since 2002-09-26

Posts 959
blues & greys

2 posted 2003-07-28 12:58 PM

i like the comparision between your hair and a veil, very moving, nice write...

"in a past life i was a woodcarver's knife: the sharpend blade of a wood cutter, the eldest son of the chief's brother: a maker of drums"

wranx
Member Elite

since 2002-06-07

Posts 3689
Moved from a shack to a barn

3 posted 2003-07-28 01:44 PM

The poem was fine, indeed.

But your SIG is great!...Yours?
~wranx

Lexy
Senior Member

since 2003-01-28

Posts 1038
California

4 posted 2003-07-28 04:38 PM

wow, a style all your own.
you at your own funeral...dark but touching. I loved it.
~Lex..

AniKay83
Member

since 2000-06-28

Posts 388
Missing Since 1999

5 posted 2003-07-28 10:45 PM

Yeah, wranx, the sig is mine. If you like that, you'll dig this~

"onward to the end of passing!
*pavement prowl*
with small wills snapped by the bright city.
*soul shuffle*"

Kinda the same deal. I thought them up from the Poetry in Motion contest on www.poetry.com You write a piece picking from a certain arrangement of words. Inspiring stuff.

Thanks to all for the great replies!

smooth people stray by slinking onward
to the limousine-society
found in alleys hot
with Humanity in passing

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