please don't take this off and say its too offensive or something like that

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Gavin
Junior Member

since 2003-06-22

Posts 47

0 posted 2003-07-25 04:56 PM

Sometimes I just want to fly face first over the handlebars
And taste the ground beneath my teeth
For to know pain, is to know life
So it’s the pavement I must eat

I love the way it lights my skin like fire does the rain
like gasoline feeds machines who scream out for the same
For they are metal, wires and such and can never truly taste this pain
They can hurt twice as bad and never feel so to them its all same

So that is why I love this pain to know that I’m alive
I revel in and revel out just to keep the tide,
From sinking too far back and leaving me at bay
It slips and falls and never stops until the moon takes back the day

Crude, maybe, ignorant, I think not
For what is blood without the love as I twist my stomach back to Knot
I love this feeling, I love it like I love the light, of knowing not what there is ahead
So I fly face first over the handlebars just to know that I’m not dead

*again i don't actually do this but at a point in everyone's life i think each person can relate to this to some degree so please don't send me stuff about suicide prevention or whatever because I'm fine really i just liked the way this sounded*

[This message has been edited by Gavin (07-25-2003 04:58 PM).]

Peeps-Peter
Junior Member

since 2003-07-19

Posts 14

1 posted 2003-07-25 05:22 PM

I like the way it sounds as well. You did an amazing job with this. You have a style all you own. I have never thought to kill myself, but I could still appreciate this piece...something about the way you said it...I loved the second stanza..
Keep posting
Peter

[This message has been edited by Peeps-Peter (07-25-2003 05:30 PM).]

Gavin
Junior Member

since 2003-06-22

Posts 47

2 posted 2003-07-25 05:40 PM

thanks peter but this wasn't about suicide, and i hate to give my opinion about my own work to people but since this is so touchy i just want to say that this is about life, a pro life poem, and pain is apart of life, whether you appreciate it or not and i was just trying to portray a different view of pain that might, for moment, look at life a lttlie differently

Lexia
Member

since 2003-07-20

Posts 111
Nowhere

3 posted 2003-07-25 06:14 PM

This...hmm, how to phrase this...You really have captured the feeling that life is full of pain and we must accept that and to not know pain is to not be alive. At least that's what I'm getting out of it. Others may and probably will feel differently.

Lex

Gavin
Junior Member

since 2003-06-22

Posts 47

4 posted 2003-07-25 10:31 PM

well thanks for your input lex

Lexy
Senior Member

since 2003-01-28

Posts 1038
California

5 posted 2003-07-25 10:37 PM

hm..I must say I can relate to this very much. how do you know your alive unless you bleed. I'm at that point in my life, where I want to be left to decide even if it means hurting, I want to know what I'm capable of. I really enjoyed this.
~Lexy

[This message has been edited by Lexy (07-25-2003 10:38 PM).]

Gavin
Junior Member

since 2003-06-22

Posts 47

6 posted 2003-07-26 02:30 AM

wow thanks a lot (confused look) other lex or should i say lexy anyways i'm glad you liked it and could relate thanks for the thoughts

green_itchy_stuff
Senior Member

since 2003-06-26

Posts 1929
New Caney, Tx

7 posted 2003-07-26 04:54 AM

nice poem

it is a lil bit violent but it isnt filled with death and other "questionable" things so i dont see a reason for it to have to go

and youre right whats wrong with a lil pain every now and then

-catchy title
lol

GIS

Eromyna
Member

since 2002-11-29

Posts 306
Pheonix, AZ, USA

8 posted 2003-07-26 06:55 PM

True that. I know exactly the feeling. Great piece.

"I don't need to scream for you to deem me aggravation."

eor
Senior Member

since 2002-09-26

Posts 959
blues & greys

9 posted 2003-07-26 08:33 PM

nice write, ubt this poem was not about suicide, just wanting to feel alive...

"sometimes i cut myself to bleed, it's like pain is such a sudden rush for me..."

we all feel like this at some point or another, it is like we don't want to die, but we want to know we are alive...

nice write

"in a past life i was a woodcarver's knife: the sharpend blade of a wood cutter, the eldest son of the chief's brother: a maker of drums"

Gavin
Junior Member

since 2003-06-22

Posts 47

10 posted 2003-07-26 10:51 PM

thanks you guys

AniKay83
Member

since 2000-06-28

Posts 388
Missing Since 1999

11 posted 2003-07-28 02:56 AM

============================================
So that is why I love this pain to know that I’m alive
I revel in and revel out just to keep the tide,
From sinking too far back and leaving me at bay
It slips and falls and never stops until the moon takes back the day
============================================
Poetry is my way to excorise (sp?) demons sometimes, and I ain't all peaches and cream, so I feel ya.
And, yeah, I like the way it sounds, too.

smooth people stray by slinking onward
to the limousine-society
found in alleys hot
with Humanity in passing

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-16

Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA

12 posted 2003-07-28 04:56 AM

Yep...pain will knock on all of our doors...James

mysticpoe
Senior Member

since 2003-02-28

Posts 883

13 posted 2003-07-28 09:56 AM

Hey Chris, nice poem, again. keep writing.

mysticpoe

If nothing is something
then everything is
our thoughts and feelings
and all that exists.

Dark Kisses
Member

since 2001-06-24

Posts 364
Flat lands of Kansas

14 posted 2003-07-29 12:17 PM

I REALLY liked this one. Excellent use of words and phrases!!

A friend, like a candle, is most needed in the darkness.

Nan

Administrator

Member Seraphic

since 1999-05-20

Posts 21191
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA

15 posted 2003-07-29 06:50 AM

Gavin - I see this as a "pro-life" poem as well. I see no reason to consider as suicidal... JMHO...

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

16 posted 2003-07-29 03:53 PM

Something about walking the fine line
comes to mind...I can see why you might
have thought it would be pushing the
envelope, but instead, it spells out
c-h-o-i-c-e very well.

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