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Dark Poetry #3

I never win....

AfoolsFool
New Member

since 2003-07-21

Posts 2

0 posted 2003-07-21 05:11 AM

So noones around
Yea, let the coward out to play.
I was once captivated, I'll tell myself, no longer;
I'm a good liar.
I handed you the knife, its always my fault.
remember, cut the longitude for the full effect.
I was the one who took the journey, steadfast into the sun
far from coast, far from help.
You set your sails and drown me.
So this is what it feels like?
To see the crimson ribbons,
To feel the salt in my wrists,
Making it for a hard swim.
To gasp for air and fill my lungs with water.
To suffocate.
To have no exit from something I never got the chance to enter.
This is what its like to hit the bottom
Waiting for your words to fish me out.
But dissapointment nets me in,
With the rest of the "fish in the sea".
My insides fillet'd,
Ill be served to her as you toast to my defeat,
As you reel her in
As you look into her eyes, regergitating words;
yea, "the beautiful eyes" -thats a classic
cast in some personal details of your charm,
make her feel special that your "on the line"
Reel her in.
Hook and Sink her in your bed.
I was once captivated
I am still captive.

Lexy
Senior Member

since 2003-01-28

Posts 1038
California

1 posted 2003-07-21 01:25 PM

very good! I love the whole air of this piece. um...a part I particularly liked was: " waiting for your words to fish me out." For some reason I loved that line, and it kept me reading with interest. This a great first post, welcome!

Thank you for sharing.
~Lex

[This message has been edited by Lexy (07-21-2003 01:26 PM).]

AfoolsFool
New Member

since 2003-07-21

Posts 2

2 posted 2003-07-21 07:09 PM

thank you very much. It just popped in my head last night, the way I felt about my situation, I felt like I was drowning, gasping for air but getting suffocated with water, never winning, just feeling worse. you know? thanks im happy to be here and share with you guys.

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