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Dark Poetry #3
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JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA

0 posted 2003-07-04 06:11 PM


Remember When

Two can play this game
believe it or not.
I can disappear
anytime I want.
Now you see me,
now you don't.
It's me saying
I will but I won't.
Remember when you
said "I want to spend
time with you but I
have no time right now?"
I was thinking maybe we
could move this relationship
to another life, another
time, another planet.
A place where we could
have some time to figure
this out somehow.

JamesLee
July04
2003

© Copyright 2003 JamesMichael - All Rights Reserved
Mad_Hatter
Member
since 2003-06-29
Posts 393
Canada
1 posted 2003-07-05 04:02 AM


I liked this poem.  It was a kind of odd transition from the begining of the poem to the end.  Very nice.
Alnilam
Member
since 2003-07-04
Posts 75

2 posted 2003-07-05 11:10 AM


I loved this poem. Touched my heart with every line. Keep up the great writting.
Ladybug
Member
since 2003-06-17
Posts 236
Massachusetts
3 posted 2003-07-05 02:20 PM


Great poem, love this:
"I was thinking maybe we
could move this relationship
to another life, another
time, another planet.
A place where we could
have some time to figure
this out somehow."

Very full of emotion.  It was interesting how your rhyme scheme changed, but it worked great.  

Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end...

Dark Kisses
Member
since 2001-06-24
Posts 364
Flat lands of Kansas
4 posted 2003-07-08 11:47 PM


Okay strange enough but I feel this poem was written from my own mind at this moment.  I know exactly how it feels.  

I just started a new relationship yet he seems to have no time for me.  Unless it is on his terms. Here I am 32 yo... too old for games, I guess.

Thanks for the read

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
5 posted 2003-07-09 06:05 AM


Thank you Mad hatter, Alnilam, Ladybug and Dark Kisses for the nice responses...
So in other works Dark Kisses you get along fine as long as everything is his way?   Yikes...Sounds like a nice relationship for someone thats desperate...and at times I have been...but not for too long...james

dertah
Senior Member
since 2003-06-18
Posts 584

6 posted 2003-07-10 01:26 PM


great write.  wish i could do the same with my love.
Wind
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2002-10-12
Posts 2981

7 posted 2003-07-11 10:00 AM


yes I like this a lot. Few people in open are dark enough for my taste, but you made it.

If art is still inside, I feel it
-Aaron Lewes

eor
Senior Member
since 2002-09-26
Posts 959
blues & greys
8 posted 2003-07-11 05:30 PM


i like this a lot as i usually do with your writing, nice...

"in a past life i was a woodcarver's knife: the sharpend blade of a wood cutter, the eldest son of the chief's brother: a maker of drums"

Temptress
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-06-15
Posts 7136
Mobile, AL
9 posted 2003-07-11 06:20 PM


nice to see you in here. Unfortunately, I can relate to this right now.


This seems different for you. Enjoyed.

You could hurt me with your bare hands. You could hurt me using the sharp edge of what you say. JEWEL

Dark Kisses
Member
since 2001-06-24
Posts 364
Flat lands of Kansas
10 posted 2003-07-11 07:37 PM


Desperate is not the word I would use here.  

Just getting use to this relationship.  I am glad to say , things have changed though.  (YEAH)  He is a wonderful man... just been hurt like everyone else in this world.  Everything takes some time.  But thanks for your concern

A friend, like a candle, is most needed in the darkness.

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
11 posted 2003-07-12 05:54 AM


Dark Kisses...I think I'm the one thats desperate...I was involved in a relationship where everything was beautiful as long as she got her way...but one day I decided that I would be getting my way...yeah, maybe on a cold dark night...in another life, or another time, but it definately isn't going to happen if she has any say so...so she doesn't...but this is all old news...
glad things are good for you...James

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