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Ladybug
Member

since 2003-06-17

Posts 236
Massachusetts

0 posted 2003-06-30 05:58 PM

A very personal account of my life, and my "new" relationship with my father (since we regained contact in 2000)
-------------------
Better than Nothing
06/29/2003

Every few months
you send me some words,
always carbon copies
of the last batch.
I read the words and smile,
knowing that she
typed them for you,
but hoping you spoke them.

You ask how my life is –
Funny, you never seemed
to care before,
when it truly mattered.

You tell me how proud you are
to have such a strong,
intelligent daughter,
and it takes all my strength
to resist my reply:
“No thanks to you”

You wonder if I have plans
to start a family of my own soon,
and I laugh, as I picture
you flipping through the dictionary.

You write about the weather in Mexico,
how you can hardly withstand the heat.
My eyes burn from the irony in your words
as my thoughts melt back to 1990.

You tell me how your new children
are doing in school,
and my mind drifts back to
seventh grade, when you tried to
pick up my 23-year-old teacher.

You say how lucky I am
to have found a great guy,
and I agree –
He is nothing like you.
I remember cruising the beach
in your white corvette,
looking to scoop
what I thought was ice cream.

You tell me how your
boat business is booming,
and I recall summers
aboard your yacht;
Remember,
you named it “My Shannon”
after your favorite girl –
That is,
until you found a replacement,
more worthy of the name.

Your words remind me of
life with a so-called father,
followed by ten years of silence;
How loud it was without
your voice.

Although they can’t
erase the past,
I’m grateful for your
plastic thoughts --

for they are
better than nothing.

Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end...

Kaoru

Member Elite

since 2003-06-07

Posts 3892
where the wild flowers grow

1 posted 2003-07-01 10:10 PM

This is an amazing write

Ladybug
Member

since 2003-06-17

Posts 236
Massachusetts

2 posted 2003-07-02 08:34 AM

Thanks, Kaoru! I'm glad you liked it, and thanks for reading

Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end...

eor
Senior Member

since 2002-09-26

Posts 959
blues & greys

3 posted 2003-07-02 07:21 PM

nice write, powerful words inside this one...i liked the style, but a couple stanzas seemed a little forced to me, as if you were trying to get the story in there instead od raw emotion, but i liked it...

Ladybug
Member

since 2003-06-17

Posts 236
Massachusetts

4 posted 2003-07-02 07:44 PM

Thanks, Eor. I just wrote what I felt and allowed it all to come out

Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end...

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-16

Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA

5 posted 2003-07-04 06:05 PM

Yes, I supose if you want it...it is not much...but it is better than nothing...that part you have no choice over...reminds me of some of my past girlfriends...I mean...they weren't what I wanted but they were btn...James

Mad_Hatter
Member

since 2003-06-29

Posts 393
Canada

6 posted 2003-07-05 04:00 AM

A very powerful piece indeed. The ending of this poem really made an impression. Sometimes people hurt us and then later on in life they want to give something back, though it may not seem like enough..it's all they know how to give. Shame people don't give when it really counts. Anywany enough blabbering nice write.

Ladybug
Member

since 2003-06-17

Posts 236
Massachusetts

7 posted 2003-07-05 11:23 AM

Thanks for reading, James, and hope your girlfriend situation has improved

Mad_Hatter, thanks for your comments. It makes me feel good that this made an impression. While my father was gone from my life, I had written many poems about how hard it was not knowing why he left and if he was even alive. This is the first poem I've written since regaining contact with him, so it was a lot different to write. I am very grateful for my relationship with him, even though this poem is very bitter. It represents the extreme of my feelings, I guess. Thanks again for reading/commenting. I really appreciate it.

Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end...

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