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Dark Poetry #3

My Diminished Soul

eor
Senior Member

since 2002-09-26

Posts 959
blues & greys

0 posted 2003-06-27 07:34 PM

This depression tortures my diminished soul
Will I ever be whole?
My paranoia sets in unsounded
I feel as if I’m surrounded.

These demons drawing nearer coming closer to my fear but will I stop them before they attack me from the back and drag me out to meet my fate, serve me up on a plate like a roast of ham.

I feel as if I’m not a man.

I can't create,
I can't disappear,
I can't relate,
I can't face my fear,

Will you save me from myself...

Just three words is all I need...

[This message has been edited by eor (06-27-2003 07:35 PM).]

mysticpoe
Senior Member

since 2003-02-28

Posts 883

1 posted 2003-06-28 09:22 AM

I enjoyed these fighting words where tolerance is not an option. Nice write.

mysticpoe

littlewing
Member Rara Avis

since 2003-03-02

Posts 9655
New York

2 posted 2003-06-28 02:55 PM

yes . . . you . . . can . . .

loved the line about the ham . . .

xxoo

eor
Senior Member

since 2002-09-26

Posts 959
blues & greys

3 posted 2003-06-28 04:25 PM

thanks guys, i don't really like this one though it has some prolbems, needs some more work i was just putting in for a trial run...

Mad_Hatter
Member

since 2003-06-29

Posts 393
Canada

4 posted 2003-06-29 06:07 AM

I would leave this as it is if I were you. I really dig the rawness of the whole thing. The rawness for me just ampliphies all of these emotions.

eor
Senior Member

since 2002-09-26

Posts 959
blues & greys

5 posted 2003-06-29 02:10 PM

thank you, i think i will take your advice...

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