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Dark Poetry #3
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Clock
| Dark Poetry #3 |
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Clock |
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blackhalo Member
since 2000-02-15
Posts 467Denver, CO |
The seconds tick my life away And I stand in brilliant nothingness Waiting, silently For the one who has claimed my soul The dawn slips away In the blink of an eye And I am blinded Silently die Frozen catacombs of life Pass me by Eternally yours When I can't find What it means to claim me Free fall, hear my plee Lost soul lose me Lost life I'm free Nevermind, let me die Tell me how show me why Why is it that I claim Where is my fire-burning flame I can't open Blinded eyes Mind lost Soul dies And still the clock ticks on Reminding me of the nothingness You have become to me Set me free I can't loosen The noose Rope tightens Swallow pain Lose me Clock keeps ticking Seconds kill time Lost free love blind I know nothingness Like no one else knows Nothing is what we have And what love When we cannot open Blind eyes Love dies Truth opens Souls have burned Still seconds tick my life away Seconds meet minutes And minutes meet death Death becomes what we cannot know Life ends Seconds tick on |
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| © Copyright 2003 Alicia R - All Rights Reserved | |||
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kadafi09 Member
since 2003-06-17
Posts 143California, United States |
i liked the use of the clock in your poem, it nicely added to your message. i really liked it. |
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mysticpoe Senior Member
since 2003-02-28
Posts 883 |
Blackhalo, you have a real good write here. I like the use of continuation with the last line. Like, the story is not over. Like to see an encore in the future. Enjoyed. mysticpoe |
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laurie Member
since 2003-05-28
Posts 153canada, ontario |
wow... l like this. but you're wrong about one thing.. someone else does know what it's like to be numb, to everything and everyone. anyway, l like this, you've got great rhythm, and some brilliant thoughts. its the first of yours l've read, l think, but l'm going to keep looking.. l enjoyed this. thank you. laurie. |
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Ladybug Member
since 2003-06-17
Posts 236Massachusetts |
Hi Blackhalo, good poem! I really love the clock metaphor -- it is one I have used many times, and it works wonders. Good job, and I look forward to reading more of your work  Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end... |
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blackhalo Member
since 2000-02-15
Posts 467Denver, CO |
Hey, thanks everyone for for taking the time to read and respond. I haven't been here in ages and ages, so, like, all of my poetry is in the archives of the corner pub. I'm slowly regaining time to spend in here, but I will try to keep posting. Thanks again for the replies, *~Alicia~* |
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eor Senior Member
since 2002-09-26
Posts 959blues & greys |
i am going back and reading some of your stuff, great write here, i really enjoyed it...adding this(it seems all of your poems i add )"in a past life i was a woodcarver's knife: the sharpend blade of a wood cutter, the eldest son of the chief's brother: a maker of drums" |
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green_itchy_stuff Senior Member
since 2003-06-26
Posts 1929New Caney, Tx |
Had almost a counting rythm with like an off order but had rythm regardless. I liked and enjoyed. Another addition is mine tonight! GIS a trickle of music from a well |
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blackhalo Member
since 2000-02-15
Posts 467Denver, CO |
 Way weird to see this popped back up here... Nevertheless, thanks a million for stopping by.  ~Alicia |
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Kaoru
since 2003-06-07
Posts 3892where the wild flowers grow |
Ahh..many cool images here, a great write indeed! |
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littlewing Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655New York |
Alicia - many thoughts here indeed . . . saw a hoping for change and an utter respite for living the same old day over and over again. The ideal that life keeps ticking after we are gone is insightful, although I seem to think that there is also much more to it than that . . . I can't open Blinded eyes Awesome lines, nope . . . only those that are blind can open their own Good job xxoo |
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blackhalo Member
since 2000-02-15
Posts 467Denver, CO |
Thanks guys, wonderful replies from even better poets! I appreciate you taking the time to read and respond. This was written in the middle of my college english class. The guy next to me looked over and tried to talk to me. I just put up one finger and when I was finished with it, I handed it to him. I guarantee he will never forget it. :p Ok, enough of my talking... ~Alicia |
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click1 Member
since 2003-03-25
Posts 152usa |
Your "time" piece inspired me... Click |
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teenpoet Member
since 2001-10-17
Posts 280Michigan |
I like all your poetry I've read. i don't think I've ever liked all the poetry by one author before. You are good. Don't stop. |
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