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| How to Join | Member's Area | Private Library | Search | Sanctuary | Login | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Main Forums | Discussion | Tech Talk | Mature Content | Archives |
A home without a wall, |
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| Dark Poetry #3 |
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Tree |
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Local Parasite
since 2001-11-05
Posts 2527Transylconia, Winnipeg 
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A handsome, grim ferocity Thou art, o titan, I surmise Thou hast decieved all prophecy; Thy subtle, woven mystery Disguises from inquiring eyes The hidden beast of history. Thy skin is ridgèd, broken, and Resplendent--and thine anxious claws Are dug into the wretched land; A shade is cast--of mercy? no, But in a greedy, hungry pause To rob the weak and starving foe. There is no thought; consideration Hath not relevance or need-- Thou art a creature of attrition Devouring through the hapless Earth The juice of life--instead to bleed A frothy waste 'pon thine own girth. Upon thee an insectoid face That sea of nectar haply swims With promises of sugar-paste And as that thick foundation swells The leaves of thine adornèd limbs Shall cry, for they can do no else. The spring is come, the rain decides Thy chain-link wings are spread--and in The soil, thy promist seed confides; There is another, I propose, Another, who the mindless sin Shall grasp, and thitherto he grows... |
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| © Copyright 2003 Brian James Lee - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
A handsome, grim ferocity Thou art, o titan, I surmise Thou hast decieved all prophecy; Thy subtle, woven mystery Disguises from inquiring eyes The hidden beast of history. Thy skin is ridgèd, broken, and Resplendent--and thine anxious claws Are dug into the wretched land; A shade is cast--of mercy? no, But in a greedy, hungry pause To rob the weak and starving foe. =================================== Did ya really think ya could hide from the moth in the dark?  OK....so...I pick on your fav season winter and so in payback ya give my beloved trees a hard time?  In your crit message you say "think aloud" but me thinks it should say read aloud cuz your rhyme divine begs for the resonation and your language and meter mix isnt done justice unless one allows it to roll off the tongue and across the lips. Awesome poem of imagery and personification Brian...now go hug a tree and I'll hug a bug  Im still imagining your voice ... |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
    I think that I shall never see ... a poem as lovely as a tree. |
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garysgirl 
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
A handsome, grim ferocity Thou art, o titan, I surmise Thou hast decieved all prophecy; Thy subtle, woven mystery Disguises from inquiring eyes The hidden beast of history. Thy skin is ridgèd, broken, and Resplendent--and thine anxious claws Are dug into the wretched land; A shade is cast--of mercy? no, But in a greedy, hungry pause To rob the weak and starving foe. Brian, since you do hide so much, I havn't read much of your work. I would love to read more of it, though, because this is beautiful words and phrases you have written. It's like reading the classics. Simply an amazing writer, you are, Brian!!!! Even though I can't write this way, I do love to read poetry like this. I'll be looking for more of your work. This is art!!  Hugs  Ethel |
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littlewing Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655New York |
Brian: you amaze me . . . Thou art, with quill and ink in hand Thou hast achieved tranquility Performance naught with brevity Equations of enormity Itelligence and mastery A solemn man of poetry Close . . . I'm learnin . . . xxoo [This message has been edited by littlewing (06-13-2003 03:48 AM).] |
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eor Senior Member
since 2002-09-26
Posts 959blues & greys |
amazing, but then again i never expect less... |
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