When the shallow isn't no more

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Dark Poetry #3

When the shallow isn't no more

LadyPeach1
Member

since 2001-06-04

Posts 282

0 posted 2003-05-18 11:06 PM

You know when you have a broken heart,
Sometimes you think you've maybe reached the end,
when you wind up back at start,
The sadness makes you hurt,
It makes you hurt so bad,
You physically feel the pain,
Because you are so sad,
So many things that make you feel this way,
And you wish you could make it pass,
And just go on with everyday,
It's hard to keep from crying,
Sometimes you feel like dying,
You wonder why it has to be you,
That has to go through so much pain,
You struggle to fight the despair,
and try to get back up again,
Why is it my life? you may say,
Why isn't happiness ever sent my way?
Its so hard to find what will make you smile,
Or make you laugh for a little while,
A broken heart is so hard to repair,
Sadness leaves you in the depths of despair,
A never ending puzzle,
That you can't seem to get right,
Its so hard to win the fight,
When you seem like you can't get up,
Everythings all messed up,
Sadness overwhelms you,
until you can't even breathe,
you can't stand the way sadness feels,
but I guess sadness is just a part of life,
But I just wish that I could smile...

Xeonox

Senior Member

since 2000-04-01

Posts 1764
CA, USA

1 posted 2003-05-22 01:50 AM

I can relate a lot to this poem. Except the ending. I always find something to smile about which keeps me moving forward day after day.

Marilyn
Member Elite

since 1999-09-26

Posts 2621
Ontario, Canada

2 posted 2003-05-23 06:45 AM

I can relate to this piece as well. I remember a time that I could not feel anything good and happy. The sun on my face was warm on the skin but went no deeper. The beauty around my was see but not taken in. As long as you can find a ray of hope in something, anything, you know you will smile again.

Marilyn.

BrokenDreams
Member

since 2003-02-09

Posts 425
In The Clouds

3 posted 2003-05-23 11:54 AM

I really like this, I can relate to it very well. As for the poem itself, the rhyme is a little off because you went from rhyming every other line to rhyming the next line. To me it seemed a little distracting, and it kinda took away from the flow of it. Other than that it was well written. You described the sentiment very well.
Jenni

Every oak tree started out as a couple of nuts who stood their
ground. --Anonymous

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