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IFeltPain
New Member

since 2003-04-28

Posts 5
NC

0 posted 2003-04-28 08:01 PM

The world falls around me, I never get a chance to breathe. Im never releaved, I feel so much pain.. But the memory still burns until I maintain. Stains of these memorys got to me, no one ever saw the other side of me. Thats why you never even trusted in me, it hurts to look back at what you put me through. Im awake but dead inside, never again will I rise, I can't sleep at night thinking the bad memorys..

Again im teased, I hate you. I will never forgive you, I slip in the Deep Dark... Scared im shaking, living awake, is this a mistake? Maybe it is, but noone will ever relate.

No, im not sorry. I will always remember these times you put me through, it almost makes us two. I slip in the Deep Dark... The pain I feel goes right to my heart. Thank you for ruining my life, I hope you have the time of your life. Hope you always think of what you did, when you strife.

Now Im In The Deep Dark...

peaceful_dreamer
Member

since 2003-04-25

Posts 159
SoMeWhErE oVeR tHe RaInBoW

1 posted 2003-04-28 11:28 PM

this is sooooo good!!! i absolutely love it!
it flows perfectly and rhymes in all of the right places! Excellant job!

peaceful_dreamer

IFeltPain
New Member

since 2003-04-28

Posts 5
NC

2 posted 2003-04-29 12:26 PM

Thank you..

sgreybe
Member

since 2000-04-28

Posts 209
London, UK

3 posted 2003-04-29 06:30 AM

This is simply superb writing. I like the deviation from the usual stanza writing.

I have just experienced exactly the same: someone ruining my life and that after they promised to always be there.

Hugs and strength to you.
Keep writing.

Sylvia

JP
Senior Member

since 1999-05-25

Posts 1343
Loomis, CA