Dark Poetry #3 |
He walks in vengeance... |
Paragon Member
since 2003-02-16
Posts 114 |
The darkness shields him from prying eyes and the light reveals those who tell him lies The wind drowns out pleading cries and lightning fills his body when enemies draw nigh The very Earth trembles in his wake... Chaos conforms to his need and order becomes limitless and free Fire gives him strength upon which to feed and Ice dulls his emotions to commit the deed He walks in vengeance... |
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stupefied Junior Member
since 2003-04-26
Posts 12dead america |
that was great. i'd just like to give you one suggestion. i think it would sound a bit better if you took out the "and"s in the second, fourth, seventh and ninth lines. otherwise it's great. "sticks and stones are hard on bones aimed with angry art...words can sting like anything but silence...SILENCE BREAKS THE HEART... |
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Lost_Soul Junior Member
since 2003-04-17
Posts 37California, United States |
That was really good but I agree it would sound better without all the "and"s |
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peaceful_dreamer Member
since 2003-04-25
Posts 159SoMeWhErE oVeR tHe RaInBoW |
I love this so much. It's really good. You should be really proud of it! peaceful_dreamer |
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