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Junior Member
since 2003-03-01
Posts 43

0 posted 2003-04-19 07:33 AM


An urge to capture.
To see through mists exposed.
By 'just another one'.
Living like I frowned on others.

Setting is home,
Ideal an idol as any.
Secret stash away,
Hides shameful regret.

Except there is no regret,
And somehow this seems right.
Underworked synapses,
See everything through a camera lens.

All around me lives things which do not matter,
Just a mirror for my ever changing thoughts.
I can't look you see,
I can't break the metaphor.

I wish I could live inside an idea,
Let the brain function for purpose.
Let the brain function without,
Myself distractions.

Light headed small talk,
But there is no one to listen.
Am I exagerating?
Why don't I ever ask these questions?

I'm too afraid,
That's it.
I can't accept the obvious truth,
Of it all.

Brain flows running on full,
Tank of spirit running empty.
Im not a mechanic,
Tell me what's wrong.

Is this existence which I have carved for myself?
Or was it chosen by some creator malfunctioning.
That's how I would like to see myself,
A malfunction of desire and human emotion.

A slave perhaps to you,
But you is everything.
And this is not a love poem,
A note, to any casual observer.

This is a mission statement,
With no mission.
A craft with no cargo or crew,

I seldom behave like this I can tell,
I try not to be the person you think I am.
Sometimes we all just have to conform,
To a preset ritual.

I'm trying to ignore one of those right now,
I'll probably never write this again.
I've made my angst,
And now I'll find a metaphorical way to lie in it.

I've carved out my philosophy,
In deletion and never looking forward.
Today is just a precursor,
For tomorrow.

Never really feeling quite content,
In this world of fake business suits.
Never really feeling at home,
With bedroom stimulus idolatry.

I believe in the double consciousness,
I think I just invented it.
Top layer: What you think,
Bottom layer: Why do you think that?

Thoughts within thoughts,
Makes me sound complex.
Maybe I'm just trying to find an answer.
"It's the question that drives us."

I don't want to stop,
I want to keep going.
A train with no driver,
Dead mans handle?

Seen it all in a film once,
Can't tell you the ending.
Haven't reached it yet,

An unfinished statement,
Puzzle students for years to come.
Tell me,
Am I Hughes or nothing?

Can't spell what I want to say,
Keyboard swaying under the weight of the universe.
No more virtual memory,
"I am not your darling!"

Maybe this is for the failed relationships,
Maybe I should stand and walk and talk.
Invent words with no meanings,
Only to find I can't spell them, anyway.

No direction,
Like magnesium caught in a jar of acid.
Galdly throw it down my throat,
As if burning me inside was new.

Perhaps I should settle down,
Watch TV.
You know the kind of thing,
Its killing us all inside.

I am nothing,
But a product of my environment.
Words hold my solace,
Like a morgue holds the dead.

Arms feel loose,
Mayve they hold all the secrets.
The hiding place that my soul has enetered,
Never to return to this place of pain.

In the morning this will not make sense,
It never does.
I can remember,
Yellow Oka nightmares.

Forget to save and lose it all,
That's what life needs.
F5 and F7,
Save and Load.

Invaluable mediocre headbanging bullshit,
To steal a line.
We've all done it,
Maybe this line will rhyme.

I once wrote a poem,
About the futility of rhyme.
Some of you can't live without it,
It's in your minds eye.

Note to self,
Don't edit.
This was how it was made,
This is what I mean to say.

Never a son to a life,
More of a cousin to infancy.
So make fun,
Run from the truth that I cannot see.

I am not a messiah,
I cannot see past your window.
I cannot climb into your house,
See past the frosted glass.

Chicken is a strange word to me,
Perhaps it is normal to you.
Off the subject perhaps just a little,
Thus is my train of thought.

Half time blows the whistle,
I wish to talk to you.
A simplex machine,
So you say.

I once laughed,
At my own hilarity.
I once invented,
My own personality.

I am but a mirror,
I reflect the image of life.
You will never know me,
Just my image will acknowledge you.

I live in the bottom layer,
Of my consciousness.
Its more of a setting,
One that you can't touch.

This is my mirror speaking,
This is not what I think.
This is perhaps not my existence,
One day I shall find out.

Ask him in the sky,
Tips how to get by.
Subconscious will answer and say,
Live to fight another day.

When I read this I will laugh,
An end to means this is by half.
No numbness will evoke my passion,
Just the mirror will crack and spoil the carpet.

An end would be nice I suppose,
Something clever and witty.
Two men walk into a bar,
"That is the joke".

I live, I think,
In my own world.
A dream perhaps,
But still my own.

An unrestricted passport fake,
I cry for every man that dies.
Withing my soul I cannot say,
That rhyme will kill me off someday.

Uncautious edit unto the stars,
Your face I cannot see for scars.
Melody and all that jazz,
To take from me what I had before.

A brief reminder that there is no save,
Except inside where I feel safe.
No one to preach my actions are wrong,
No one to sing that sad, sad song.

And so rolls on existence for me,
An empty coffin of life extreme.
Caught between a butterfly with no wings,
And a moral bullet that's killing me.

But not to leave this,
In plagarism.
I hope for my mind.
I hope all is forgiven.

Might be a few spelling mistakes in it, it was written while slightly drunk but still, its what I wanted to say. Input much appreciated.

© Copyright 2003 gpc - All Rights Reserved
Senior Member
since 2002-12-29
Posts 1745
California Desert
1 posted 2003-04-19 09:08 AM

I thought it was going to be short and I kept reading and it kept going. Very interesting, too long and too late for the book I believe but I voted anyway.  Slightly drunk - Huh??
since 2003-03-30
Posts 87

2 posted 2003-04-19 11:04 AM

nice... i really enjoyed it. like above, i kept reading and reading, it really grabbed me... thanks
Junior Member
since 2003-03-01
Posts 43

3 posted 2003-04-20 03:44 PM

anyone else? cant be that bad can it?
Junior Member
since 2003-03-01
Posts 43

4 posted 2003-04-24 01:51 PM

...apparently so
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