A Town Called Hopelessness

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SPIRIT
Senior Member

since 2002-12-29

Posts 1745
California Desert

0 posted 2003-01-04 08:00 PM

A Town Called Hopelessness

The town of Hopelessness,
It is a community
Going absolutely nowhere.
A town of sleazy beginnings
And sorry endings.
Where prostitutes
In filthy roach infested motels,
Peddle their wares on dirty sheets,
So that they can support
Their slime-ball pimps
In the manner
They like to be accustomed to.
A place where a man can,
For a small fee,
Have his fetishes taken care off,
By man or woman.
Anonymity is secured
Once the proprietor’s hands
Have been substantially greased.
Where said proprietor
Takes the position
Of the three wise monkeys.

The druggies wheel and deal
Behind the local mission.
After all why not give
The hapless and hopeless
A little happy
And relieve them of any money,
Before someone decent
Offers them food and shelter for it.
Get the suckers hooked,
Right from the beginning,
Show no mercy.

A cardboard city
Has been erected
Between the windowless back
Of the Town Hall
And the rear entrance
Of the Mortuary.
Here the alcoholics
And drug abusers
Huddle together
And commiserate with each other
How their families
Neglected
And misunderstood them.
How they are not responsible
For the sorry plight that they are in.

A railroad track
Runs through
The center of town.
One train a day
Runs through,
Pulling a never-ending
Stream of containers.
It doesn’t stop,
But slows down
Allowing unauthorized passengers,
Those modern day hoboes
And lazy bums,
To get off the train,
Whilst others jump onto
The slow moving locomotive,
In the hopes of escaping
The lunacy of Hopelessness.
Like any town
There is the right side
And the wrong side of the tracks.
The right side is the crap side
Of Hopelessness;
The wrong side
Is the crappier than crap side,
This is a town of no winners.
A haven for the losers of the world.

Robberies, family disturbances,
Brawling, unrest,
A lot of scamming,
Occasional drive by shootings,
Drug overdoses
And every once in awhile
A murder,
Seems to be the glue
That keeps this community together.
We all know this town
We maybe neither acknowledge it
Or recognize it.
But we know it,
This town of Hopelessness.

LADY_DEATH
Member

since 2002-11-29

Posts 105
Fl

1 posted 2003-01-04 08:35 PM

Sounds like once bad place that i wouldn't want to live in or near.But great description!

fractal007
Senior Member

since 2000-06-01

Posts 1958

2 posted 2003-01-05 12:29 PM

OOOHHHH!  This was a wonderful dark poem.  I certainly can picture Hopelessness.  I love the lines about commiserating druggies.  I too am a little ticked when people try to shift the blame for their obviously illogical and unsafe actions onto others.

I also love your bit about all these negetive things holding the town together.  Very good use of irony!

One constructive critique:

"In the manner
They like to be accustomed to."

This is awkward.

On the whole, however, the poem is well done.  It is going into my library for sure!

"If history is to change, let it change. If the world is to be destroyed, so be it. If my fate is to die, I must simply laugh"

-- Magus

SPIRIT
Senior Member

since 2002-12-29

Posts 1745
California Desert

3 posted 2003-01-05 12:41 PM

Yes! I felt a little awkward there also, I'll work on it. Thanks for the nice words.

I am an enigma, even unto myself.
A puzzle unsolved, a mystery maybe until beyond death. ©das

jjote
Senior Member

since 2002-12-25

Posts 1088
Ontario, Canada

4 posted 2003-01-06 11:35 AM

While there's life...I hope there's a glimmer of hope in Hopelessness.
Or maybe, you could be describing Hell town, too.

Eromyna
Member

since 2002-11-29

Posts 306
Pheonix, AZ, USA

5 posted 2003-01-07 05:10 PM

I see the analogy you're trying to draw, and I like the idea. But I didn't find the text poetic. Maybe I missed something.

"I don't need to scream for you to deem me aggravation."

Kethry
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-07-29

Posts 9082
Victoria Australia

6 posted 2003-01-17 05:47 AM

wonderfully dark images that read like a rant.
Powerful prose or free verse whatever you choose to call it and the pollution of the works bleeds onto the page. Well done!
Kethry

Here in the midst of my lonely abyss, a single joy I find...your presence in my mind. Unknown

SPIRIT
Senior Member

since 2002-12-29

Posts 1745
California Desert

7 posted 2003-01-17 07:22 AM

Thanks. Maybe not terribly poetic, but interesting to write anyway. I am glad I don't live in Hopelessness.

PoetOfDarkness2002
Junior Member

since 2002-12-06

Posts 41
Lost in my dissociative unrealistic world

8 posted 2003-01-19 10:21 PM

I really like this poem...i see poeticness in it, not all poems ryme...And the meaning of the poem and what is said in it is unfortunately terribly true... (i happen to live in a bad neighborhood) but i dont follow in everyone esles footsteps or at least i dont think i do...well done!

Love Always,
Manda aka POD

"Because I could not stop for death he kindly stopped for me, the carriage held but just ourselves and immortality."

SPIRIT
Senior Member

since 2002-12-29

Posts 1745
California Desert

9 posted 2003-01-20 12:26 PM

Thank you.

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