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Dark Poetry #3
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bsquirrel
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855


0 posted 2002-10-31 03:38 PM


Oh, discard my guts.
Leave them on trays by guttered candles.
Carve off my head and scoop me hollow.
Throw angles together, call them eyes.

Give me light to torch the empty.
I once wore a lamp. I once longed for hell.
I head every stoop,
and hanging from gates.

Stew me and drink me.
Wear me and smash me.
Whipsnarl crackle.
Grin with this burn.
I once longed for heaven
from flint-tipped eyes.

I settle to pumpkin,
this turnip-white walk.

© Copyright 2002 MPC - All Rights Reserved
EleanorMoonbaby
Member
since 2002-09-02
Posts 202
England, UK
1 posted 2002-11-04 02:54 PM


As a member of the ISPP (International Society for Preservation of Pumpkins), I hear your lament, little pumpkin. Remember kids, a pumpkin is for life, not just for Halloween.
Ellie

High above the mucky-muck, castle made of clouds; there sits Wonderboy, sitting oh so proudly....

bsquirrel
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855

2 posted 2002-11-04 03:25 PM


This poem is a piece of crap. How's that for an honest critique?
Three Little Bears
Junior Member
since 2002-10-23
Posts 13
Wisconsin, U.S.
3 posted 2002-11-04 06:49 PM


Piece of crap? I love it! This has to be the best Halloweenie poem I've seen this year. I'm glad I got to read it.
  ~Andrea~

brian sites
Senior Member
since 2002-06-25
Posts 1475
usa
4 posted 2002-11-05 03:15 AM


bull
"piece of crap"
yeah,
whatever
I wish I could write
depression's mirror
this well

I enjoyed this, Mike
even if you didn't

Elizabeth Cor
Senior Member
since 2000-10-13
Posts 879
Over the river and through the woods
5 posted 2002-11-05 04:26 AM


now i understand the almost anger i get from some people when i denounce my poetry (which isnt to say what i call crap isnt crap, but to each their own... i see now...) I want to look at you vacant stare and ask, "HOW can you think this is bad in anyway?"

mikey, keep an eye open. im writin' ya.

bsquirrel
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855

6 posted 2002-11-05 12:03 PM


Thanks for all reading and replyin' to this. I dunno, I'm sure I'd like it better if it were actually about pumpkin lanterns. I'm not very good at hiding myself.

Mikey

(i'll be writin' back soon, liz)

Succubus
Member
since 2002-09-30
Posts 82
Canada, Ontario
7 posted 2002-11-05 06:28 PM


Now I can say I WILL remember a line from one of your poems for years to come...
"Stew me and drink me.
Wear me..."
I will surely use this line next time I seduce some poor loser for my sexual gratification...
Thanx
Succubus

"We who have lived in concentration camps remember people who gave comfort to others, along with their last morsel bread..."  -Victor Frankl

bsquirrel
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855

8 posted 2002-11-06 12:48 PM


Always good for a laugh, eh, Succubus?
PoeticGoddessOfDepression
Member
since 2002-07-02
Posts 439
I am everywhere
9 posted 2002-11-06 07:46 PM


I'll never carve a pumpkin again..

Good write- i've missed reading you, Mikey.

Take care,
Sara

majnu
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Senior Member
since 2002-10-13
Posts 1088
SF Bay Area
10 posted 2002-11-06 08:44 PM


i read it almost as being satirical. it was quite funny.
bsquirrel
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855

11 posted 2002-11-07 05:00 PM


Thanks, Sara. I've been busy.

majnu, interesting interpretation.  

Mikey

[This message has been edited by bsquirrel (11-07-2002 05:23 PM).]

fractal007
Senior Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 1958

12 posted 2002-11-09 02:02 AM


Correct me if I'm wrong, but this poem begins with an initial discussion on the practice of carving pumpkins and then proceeds to discribe some of the history and culture surrounding pumpkins and the grinning goulish faces of jackolanterns.  I must confess that the poem was a tad hard to follow at times and not well-connected.  Furthermore lines like "I head every stoop" are rather ambiguous.  I got the idea of a face pointing outwards and straight, hanging from a hunchbacked stoop, but perhaps I am incorrec here.

On a positive note, you have done a good job on the whole of selecting words that work well[oftentimes] in creating vivid images of different concepts and symbols surrounding the jackolantern.

"If history is to change, let it change. If the world is to be destroyed, so be it. If my fate is to die, I must simply laugh"

-- Magus

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