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Dark Poetry #3
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Falling
| Dark Poetry #3 |
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Falling |
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WhileIWasGone Member
since 2002-07-18
Posts 486
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Falling This isn't the urge rooted in rising chest tension hollow throat dry mouthed automatic yearning; higher processes craft each overfull heartbeat. No one stimulus, triggered by random hopes of vague nature. Help me. My mind is not my own. Each cravings melts away under another ahead of comprehension; examined, need is gone. Or so many crowd no one soul can satiate the overflow. Help me. My mind is not my own. Lacking a part the whole is surrendered- every want is a condition of another. Spinning in cyclical spirals down the coils of Death, my mind cries Help me. My mind is not my own. |
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| © Copyright 2002 Dea_Di_Amore - All Rights Reserved | |||
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FuzzyFrazzledFraggle Member
since 2002-09-20
Posts 155Fraggle Rock |
you write things my Muse wants me to write but I won't..I won't listen but you do it so well..painful..*hugs* haunting..echoing.. Consider yourself fuzzed [This message has been edited by FuzzyFrazzledFraggle (10-15-2002 11:51 PM).] |
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majnu
since 2002-10-13
Posts 1088SF Bay Area |
the refrain of my mind is not my own detracts from the piece. cut the last line. aside from that its interesting but a but cliched. |
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wranx Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689Moved from a shack to a barn |
Nor is mine, Etoile *Kiss* Je t'aime |
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clumsy Member
since 2002-10-10
Posts 106canada. |
i like the feeling of falling. |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
"examined, need is gone. Or so many crowd no one soul can satiate the overflow." At least you can flow out into words. You express such deep emotion, and so well, it hurts.  |
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WhileIWasGone Member
since 2002-07-18
Posts 486 |
Thank you for reading and the replies... Marti...hugs....miss hearing from you. Thank you ... H. |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
Crumble into someone. Now! M. |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
ah so the Squirrel says crumble into someone... him the romantic hedonist he is.... would. (chuckling) Very nicely written... there is a build of tension in the poem and it conveys well the spiral of being consumed... good writing...and while I can guess at the intention or motivation of the poem, i'll just say that I'm a dumb old country hick..andit made me think of an old something I read years ago about two eople in love should not be consumed nor walk one in the shadow of the other, but be as partners and walk side by side, sharing both in the joy and the pain, neither stunting the other by denying them light to grow.. to give oneself without giving up oneself... dang..I am rambling... sorry... |
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