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Kissing my Goodbye
| Dark Poetry #3 |
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Kissing my Goodbye |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855
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After reading WhileIWasGone's See Ya, it made me think of this poem I wrote a while back. Enjoy! Mike Kissing my Goodbye Her breasts were granite stones. Her mouth was suffocating beauty. Her touch took bloody root -- red flowers bloomed from her imprint. Her eyes beheld the pines. Needles piercing through the sun. Kissing my Goodbye. Letting go my sweetest one. As patterns seem to form |
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Anvrill Senior Member
since 2002-06-21
Posts 710in the interzone now |
Yr always so sad, baby... Tell your past self to cheer up, k? K.  i'll be waiting for you |
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WhileIWasGone Member
since 2002-07-18
Posts 486 |
So sad but so BEAUTIFUL....I love this... Dang your so good! DeaDiAmore |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Funny, I have tried to type music into my poetry--I figured out a way to type time signature, half-notes, quarter notes, and whole, but still? I cannot type the "rests" and I've said it a million times it's the silence before the note that makes it sing--you've got that down to perfection. You build so subtly it's startling when you make it tumble down deliberately. (and I KNOW...I've been neglecting my poet friends...sigh...I'll be back---and? I told ya, send me an url...it may take me a month, but I'll get to it!  )Hugs you...I do hope I have time to make up for lost time...now THERE'S an epitaph..grin-- "making up for lost time"  |
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brian sites Senior Member
since 2002-06-25
Posts 1475usa |
smiling at K's reply she too modest, Mike but, she is keen and you do make the reader stop and ponder every scene here and you're 25? time to take up crayons, brian |
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Moon Dust
since 1999-06-11
Posts 2177Skelmersdale, UK |
Goodbye are always sad and you caputed the feeling. If your afraid of the dark, then why did you come? |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
Thanks, everyone. I'm trying to remember what inspired this, but my past self won't talk to me. Glad you enjoyed! |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
And not to worry, Sen. We're all busy except when we're not. Whatever that means. |
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fractal007 Senior Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 1958 |
I like the way you've built up all the descriptions of this lady, only to tell us you are saying goodbye to her. Good job here. "If history is to change, let it change. If the world is to be destroyed, so be it. If my fate is to die, I must simply laugh" |
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Scarlet Lady Member
since 2000-02-11
Posts 242Midwest |
I have felt this in reality. Wonderfully written, as usual. I have watched dark passions for some time, and have admired you and Lori's LOVE and POETRY in motion. What a wonderful thing!! See.....you never know who might be silently watching the beauty of it all! Thanks you 2! |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
Hey, fract. I'm confused by everyone being thrown by the ending -- suffocating beauty is a good thing??? I'm glad you liked the poem. And Scarlet, thanks for visiting and leaving your reply. I sometimes feel the ghosts of people reading, leaving no response. Mikey |
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Dragon Mistress Member
since 2002-08-26
Posts 289Washington, USA. |
awww...so beautiful...so heartbreaking. I enjoyed this piece very much. ~*~I'm only a dreamer, with broken dreams, and only words to fall back on~*~ |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
Thanks, Dragon Mistress! |
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Zall Member
since 2002-08-25
Posts 214London, England |
I can feel it, deep impact |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
Thanks, Zall. |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
Just revisiting an old friend. Hi, poem. |
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