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| Dark Poetry #3 |
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Compost |
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Amaranthine Member
since 2002-10-06
Posts 61ON Canada 
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Dank the heap was, hot and dank Hot and dark like we were, hot and dark like we are Drawn like flies they were, landed on sticky shadows of false acceptance and security-only one in ten - maybe to become as one of us friends by word and necessity, ruled by the cruelest by the basest laws of greed, so don't remind the two of us of our lack of human need trapped on purpose in the dim, aching addiction to the sim -much too big for darkened halls glowing bright despite gaudily pointlessly painted walls and under the rot I sat, grew fat, watched it upsidedown and wrongside out, feeling my old heart slowly picked apart by worms I swallowed in the dark each day the pain became as less and less, still there (perhaps) yet muted by the point of view I switched to, and then -then I die to be rebirthed not unlike the phoenix born pure in self-inflicted fire, not unlike still not quite like that bird of flame-slain plumage, roasted foul on a pyre for MY rebirth was slow and hidden, langorous I lay so long alone beneath the compost heap I scraped up of rotten bone and bits of discard me Dank the heap was, hot and dank Hot and dark like we were hot and dark like they are |
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| © Copyright 2002 Brian Jones - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Succubus Member
since 2002-09-30
Posts 82Canada, Ontario |
This is truly an amazing piece. Your choice of words made me hypnotized by every line. I'll definately add this one to my private library. Kisses, Succubus Better to have 10% of something than a 100% of nothing. |
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Sikanda Member
since 2002-10-08
Posts 54 |
amazing.....great use of words! |
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Opeth Senior Member
since 2001-12-13
Posts 1543The Ravines |
Very interesting, indeed. I enjoyed the read, although I am somewhat confused about what if any point you are making. |
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Amaranthine Member
since 2002-10-06
Posts 61ON Canada |
This poem may seem confusing and/or confused, yet is guided only by my very specific artifice. It is about a house I once lived in and the people with whom I shared it; and, mainly, about the transformations I went through during that time. Thanks for your comments and compliments, I have been checking out your works as well. |
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cherish Senior Member
since 2001-03-25
Posts 1639swimming in fairy floss........... |
I found the reference to the phenoix as a "roasted foul".  I normally don't like repetition much, but the repeated lines brought this full circle and gave more to it then it would have been without it. Nicely done... Are you scared? |
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