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eor
Senior Member

since 2002-09-26

Posts 959
blues & greys

0 posted 2002-10-07 07:18 PM

Can't stop

I sit here and wait
Like a fool to his fate
Writhing in this hate
There's only one escape

I bear the scars
Under all the stars
Let it out on my guitar
But have I gone too far

It's too late now
I already took my vow
To stop the pain
And all my shame

The river is flowing
But soon I will be growing
With one more scar
Under one more star

They're just there as a reminder
Of my pain
And that I take with me
Until the end of eternity

...eor

devina
Member Elite

since 1999-10-28

Posts 3539
Cali

1 posted 2002-10-07 07:32 PM

We all carry that pain...would love to to find the magic trick to that. grins to us both huh?

honest writing. enjoyed this and belated welcome you!!!

Open arms can be the most fragile in the world...

bsquirrel

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-01-03

Posts 7855

2 posted 2002-10-08 12:04 PM

You should make your Constructive Critiques message a poem.

eor
Senior Member

since 2002-09-26

Posts 959
blues & greys

3 posted 2002-10-08 02:28 PM

thanks, it is in the working of a poem, but i just can't get it right yet...soon...hopefully...eor

Succubus
Member

since 2002-09-30

Posts 82
Canada, Ontario

4 posted 2002-10-09 11:06 AM

Great piece of work you have here. What struck me the most was this:
"I already took my vow
To stop the pain
And all my shame"
We seldom think about stoping the pain and shame when we're in bed crying. If we could only do that, there would be no tears to cry. I suppose it's like quitting cigarettes... you know it's gonna kill you mentally if you stop taking the poison, but if you do, you'll be alot healthier in the end...
Kisses
Succubus

Better to have 10% of something than a 100% of nothing.

eor
Senior Member

since 2002-09-26

Posts 959
blues & greys

5 posted 2002-10-10 05:08 AM

so very, very true, if it was onlt that easy to do what we know we should...thanks...eor

Amaranthine
Member

since 2002-10-06

Posts 61
ON Canada

6 posted 2002-10-10 08:20 PM

I savored the sense of preordinance in this piece. It is as if you embrace your doom willingly; all you need is a cause, and you would be called a hero!

eor
Senior Member

since 2002-09-26

Posts 959
blues & greys

7 posted 2002-10-11 04:45 AM

thanks for your comment, but alas i am no hero...eor

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