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WhiteRose
Member Elite

since 2002-07-23

Posts 3208
somebody's dungeon

0 posted 2002-09-21 12:55 PM

Begging freedom
from oppression
allowing self
some expression
maybe even
wicked confession
still trapped
fighting depression
social banishment
slipped, regression
caused by tyranny
lost impression.

WhiteRose

fractal007
Senior Member

since 2000-06-01

Posts 1958

1 posted 2002-09-21 09:43 PM

I must say that you are quite good at *cramming* words into small spaces and still using them effectively. You were able to carry on your usage of words ending with "ession"-type sounds without making the poem sound too phony or list-like. The whole thing flows like any other sentence, only with the almost subtly inserted ession words. Great job.

"If history is to change, let it change. If the world is to be destroyed, so be it. If my fate is to die, I must simply laugh"

-- Magus

EagleOne
Member Elite

since 2000-03-07

Posts 2829
Between a laugh and a tear...

2 posted 2002-09-21 11:45 PM

You’ve packed a lot into this, and done it well, enjoyed the read!

arthur
Senior Member

since 2001-08-14

Posts 678
england

3 posted 2002-09-22 06:05 AM

liked it
thanks
arthur

anya
Member

since 2002-07-27

Posts 393
London, UK

4 posted 2002-09-22 07:19 AM

just to echo what the others have said really, you said so much in so few words here, that is such a skill, well done

Anya

bsquirrel

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-01-03

Posts 7855

5 posted 2002-09-23 05:49 PM

I don't find it crammed.
I find it speaking from a place
where it all must come out
lest the subject expire.

wranx
Member Elite

since 2002-06-07

Posts 3689
Moved from a shack to a barn

6 posted 2002-09-23 05:56 PM

Not crammed, more of an expulsion. A stream of conviction.

You (and nameless others)write poetry faster than I can reply. So, my apologies to you (and them) for slacking.

I am reading though

~wranx

Silent_nights
New Member

since 2002-09-16

Posts 6
Dreamland,WI

7 posted 2002-09-23 06:35 PM

I think thats a good poem... Expesses much of how you feel... I like it

Enchantress
Member Empyrean

since 2001-08-14

Posts 35113
Canada eh.

8 posted 2002-09-23 07:01 PM

Well done..
Enjoyed the rhythm.
~Hugs, Nancy~

~ Time has cast a spell on you
So you won't ever forget me ~

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