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bsquirrel

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-01-03

Posts 7855

0 posted 2002-09-19 11:29 PM

A poem from early this year. I was contemplating what would happen if, instead of staying on the road, I drove off a hill to roll to the street below. (a tad depressed then)

Mike

Drive slow, clouds
Drive slow, here.
Quiet down to the view.
The valley sprawls itself,
building through the sky.
The pale white blue,
a brown and stilling storm.
Immerse and emerged.
Without wet insides.

Drive slow, clouds.
Slide into the city.
Just on through that rail.
Just on through that silver rail.

Small rocks can tumble with us.
We can watch the glass' tincture.
They can find us in the street.
They might not understand.

Drive slow, down.
We can make it to the bottom.
You and me, let's crash.
Let's roll over and over again.

DewDropRoses
Junior Member

since 2002-09-18

Posts 20
WV

1 posted 2002-09-20 09:41 AM

Very interesting Mike. Nicely done.
- Amy Marie -

Cpat Hair

Member Patricius

since 2001-06-05

Posts 11793

2 posted 2002-09-20 11:02 AM

self destruction and the pull..almost what appears to be beauty at the moment it is felt... troubling in its truth... revealing in its capture of that moment.

bsquirrel

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-01-03

Posts 7855

3 posted 2002-09-20 05:32 PM

Thank you, Amy.

Ron, yes, there was a time when I wanted to join that beauty...

Mike

Moon Dust

Member Elite

since 1999-06-11

Posts 2177
Skelmersdale, UK

4 posted 2002-09-20 10:30 PM

been there, and you said it well

If your afraid of the dark, then why did you come?

anonymousfemale
Member Elite

since 2000-02-02

Posts 2797
Limbo

5 posted 2002-09-21 03:23 AM

quote:
Small rocks can tumble with us.
We can watch the glass' tincture.
They can find us in the street.
They might not understand.

That part I really connected with. People often do not understand the deepest feelings within us until they themselves experience it. You've written about this well. I'm impressed.

Thanks for the read.

~AF~

"No wonder I do not make people comfortable. I am a mirror. I have far too many things to say." - Mouthing the Words

brian sites
Senior Member

since 2002-06-25

Posts 1475
usa

6 posted 2002-09-21 03:30 AM

the weightlessness
of seconds
that swell
to eternity

but
the surreal
meets the real
eventually

I love this poem
b

fractal007
Senior Member

since 2000-06-01

Posts 1958

7 posted 2002-09-21 09:38 PM

This is a rather curious poem. On the one hand you present a nice view of the valley, and then you go on and get up close and personal with the valley by crossing through the guardrail. It's almost humourous. In any case, it's something interesting that I've not seen before.

"If history is to change, let it change. If the world is to be destroyed, so be it. If my fate is to die, I must simply laugh"

-- Magus

bsquirrel

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-01-03

Posts 7855

8 posted 2002-09-22 09:42 PM

Thanks, everyone. And yes, f7, the idea of driving a car off a hill is sorta curious, I suppose.

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