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Dark Poetry #3
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Walk these chains off
| Dark Poetry #3 |
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Walk these chains off |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855
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I will walk these chains off. I'll walk these bloody chains off. Leave their metal shoulder shudder hunch-shrugging in the distance. I will walk these chains off. Will walk these bloody chains off. In their swollen song of clink and clank and made-to-lose insistence. I will walk these chains off. I will walk these chains off. They do not do a thing but weigh, and chafe and change and won't obey. I will walk these chains off. Walk out of their coil. I have walked too far. I'm lost and must regain their toil. I must walk these chains on. I must walk these chains off. |
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anya Member
since 2002-07-27
Posts 393London, UK |
very interesting, have read this a couple of times now, it is hard to take an idea such as 'being in chains' and make it different and unique but you certainly did here, liked this very much, anya |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
Thank you, anya. I'm glad you enjoyed this bit of angst. Mike |
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fractal007 Senior Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 1958 |
Fascinating. This poem sounds much like the idea of freeing one's self from some religious establishment and then going too far, claiming that all ideas of meaning and metaphysical significance are to be avoided, since they often pertain to institutions such as certain religious establishments. The freed then finds himself in an existential predicament, as he no longer has any sense of purpose. He is lost. This was just my interpretation. It's a good poem in any case. "If history is to change, let it change. If the world is to be destroyed, so be it. If my fate is to die, I must simply laugh" |
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devina Member Elite
since 1999-10-28
Posts 3539Cali |
You have written a swollen song indeed... enjoyed the mind walk man!  and? POST your mind flood, me likes. Open arms can be the most fragile in the world... |
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WhileIWasGone Member
since 2002-07-18
Posts 486 |
Nice work M....enjoyed very much! H. |
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D edgar Grey Member
since 2002-08-21
Posts 174Hell...(aka Wisconsin) |
Not to contradict the religious establishment interpretation, as that was a very obscure but fitting thought, I found this to be as though someone was trying to escape their current life (not suicidal) but realized that there was not way to leave the past as it lay, because the past always haunts that person. Even after the person realizes that there is no way to free her/himself from this life, they still crave that freedom of anonymity and a new life. Kinda sad: That's what I really want right now...a new beginning. Definitely hit home on this piece. Beautifully done. |
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Scarlet Lady Member
since 2000-02-11
Posts 242Midwest |
Mikey, When I first read this I felt incredible pain. I don't really know why, but I felt as though you were trying to say something without letting it really out? I must be nuts, huh??? I felt like you are at a cross roads with your life, yet I do not know you personally. YOUR writing however, speaks of YOU. Man am I tripping or what? Ha! Anyway, your poetry has changed, as I am sure you have. Your life shows so much in your writing. Soooooo gifted!!! Keep writing, EXPRESSING, giving. Thank you so much for your "gift". I am a receiver who appreciates the person behind the "gift". And thank you for being so kind to me as a newby!!! HUGS to you. Lynne |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
f7, I like your interpretation of this. To reveal mine, now, would destroy that mystique. So I will stay with yours. d, Check adult.  H., Thank you. DeG, Second interpretation. I will say that it's sort of a mix of both yrs and f7's. Well, kinda.Lynne, Just something to get off my chest (and my shoulders). I'm glad you enjoyed these words. And we're all still newbies. Some just admit it with more freedom than others. Mike [This message has been edited by bsquirrel (09-17-2002 12:29 PM).] |
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arthur Senior Member
since 2001-08-14
Posts 678england |
that is very very good arthur |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
Thank you, arthur. |
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brian sites Senior Member
since 2002-06-25
Posts 1475usa |
it is very hard to let go that which is familiar even if it is harmful to us it has been with us for so long that it becomes the "friend" you can depend on to make you feel anything anything as long as it is a feeling so good, Mike b |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
Thank you, brian. This poem was inspired by Shel Silverstein's "The Missing Piece." Shhh... tell no one. |
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