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bsquirrel

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-01-03

Posts 7855

0 posted 2002-09-19 11:19 PM

Here is a poem from the beginning of 2002 -- the strangest thing I have ever written.

I thought I'd share it for that reason alone.

Mike

sleep.transference.blue
A conversation between robots.

SALVO CAUSEWAY:
the less you ask, the
better you will be.

HORIZONAL INTERFACE:
sunshine on motors,
oil in rainbows.

EXACTITUDE MONITOR:
offline sadness
rifled by metal fingers.

N/D RATIO STASIS:
cloudless night,
cloudy day.
revolving, unsolved.

BLIP RATE SONNET:
listen to this song
someone wrote for someone.

BLINK RATE BOMBING:
lids pick up information
yr eyes refuse to process.

LOSQUE:
kiss doesn't feel so bad.
it's just wet dirt and moss.

ENDSTATE:
Our conversation is over,
coal of our smoldering.

Cpat Hair

Member Patricius

since 2001-06-05

Posts 11793

1 posted 2002-09-20 11:00 AM

strange? hmmm.... abstract perhaps in that it takes the human form out of the conversation and replaces it with a "cyber" being that uses language in a way different than what we as humans consider the norm. Yet, it still speaks in a way to several levels of thought with the reader able to draw from the exchanges relevent pieces of "truth" about outselves....

Perhaps it would not appeal to everyone nor fit the sensibilities or some, but I do not find it strange nor do I find it so obtuse the reader gets lost.

bsquirrel

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-01-03

Posts 7855

2 posted 2002-09-20 05:34 PM

Thank you for that, Ron. I know it's a bit experimental on the surface, but really, it's me just under that layer of imposing difference.

Mike

brian sites
Senior Member

since 2002-06-25

Posts 1475
usa

3 posted 2002-09-24 12:08 PM

you force the reader
to expand
the tunnel
of mind

the unexpected in what is read
is called
information

fractal007
Senior Member

since 2000-06-01

Posts 1958

4 posted 2002-09-24 12:14 PM

Although I am not sure, from your description above, that this poem has any intent behind it other than pure creativity, I must confess that it is quite a bit like some highly structured computer status printout mixed with something similar to the haiku form. I do not see this as a conversation between robots, but rather as a status printout conveying a mix between technology and living emotion. I must say that this poem evokes a certain haunting chill in me. The fusion between man and machine, between emotion and computation.

Well done. This is going into my library.

"If history is to change, let it change. If the world is to be destroyed, so be it. If my fate is to die, I must simply laugh"

-- Magus

anya
Member

since 2002-07-27

Posts 393
London, UK

5 posted 2002-09-24 04:15 AM

I wouldn't say strange I would say interesting, and this is very interesting, i enjoyed it's abstractness, if you know what I mean, and I thought some of the images you created were very good, so well done

Anya

bsquirrel

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-01-03

Posts 7855

6 posted 2002-09-24 01:00 PM

I consider all three of you intelligent readers and writers, so I'm glad for your comments/compliments.

Reading back on this now,
it seems I had a severe case
of Radiohead-itis.
(in fact,
this looks, to me,
like a reaction to Kid A)

Anyway...

Thanks.

WhiteRose
Member Elite

since 2002-07-23

Posts 3208
somebody's dungeon

7 posted 2002-09-24 02:35 PM

Okay, maybe it is just me, but I adored it. I don't know, maybe I'm just a metalhead and I could relate.

bsquirrel

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-01-03

Posts 7855

8 posted 2002-09-24 03:55 PM

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