Dark Poetry #3 |
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Sacrifice |
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WhiteRose Member Elite
since 2002-07-23
Posts 3208somebody's dungeon ![]() |
I will not with shame of sin atone again. A mockery this would be of forgiveness, of which you know nothing for blame will not fit within the box forgiven allows. It overflows and rots in the heat of fury dried parched then remoistened in the wet of tears you cry so easily the water of your innocence pools around the guilty and I can't swim weighted down this way with the mill stone of sin you place upon and upon day after day until burdened I've no choice but to sink. I will not with shame atone again and again accept the sacrifice demon or move on to fresh kill. WhiteRose |
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© Copyright 2002 Anne Thompson - All Rights Reserved | |||
serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
I am loving the religious metaphor/analogies I read here today...this is indeed an interesting read...and? I am smiling here, for I sense a cleansing of self, through a rejection of judgement by others--an atonement in itself... ![]() loved it. ![]() |
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anya Member
since 2002-07-27
Posts 393London, UK |
'I will not with shame atone again and again', yeah I like that line, but anyway this is a powerful peice, anya |
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WhileIWasGone Member
since 2002-07-18
Posts 486 |
Very nice work WhiteRose...enjoyed. DeaDiAmore |
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brian sites Senior Member
since 2002-06-25
Posts 1475usa |
wow! I heard a giant bell struck at the end last lines just---- CLANG!nnnnnggnngngn LOVE this poem, Anne "blame will not fit......" yes yes brian |
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bsquirrel![]()
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
Anne, I think this is what spills out when that box is opened and destroyed. .m. |
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fractal007 Senior Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 1958 |
You've done well describing the idea of not forgetting after forgiving someone. Your statements against this practice are decicive. I especially like the final line in which you command the "demon" to accept your sacrifice or go onto some new kill. Its use of the term demon to describe the person being addressed conveys a sense of inescapable nature. A demon, being a demon, will continue to sin and do evil. "If history is to change, let it change. If the world is to be destroyed, so be it. If my fate is to die, I must simply laugh" |
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WhiteRose Member Elite
since 2002-07-23
Posts 3208somebody's dungeon |
Thank you Serenity, your responses mean a lot to me. There was a cleansing with this poem. A sort of release from the prison of unforgiven. It's time to move on. Thank you for being so perceptive, it shows you are reading beneath the surface. I appreciate that. ![]() Thank you anya. This was a necessary write for me. Thank you Dea, I read everything of yours and for you to comment on my efforts means a lot to me. You create such delicate pictures, even when they are dark, still they retain the softness of your touch. I'm a big fan. Thank you Brian, sorry for the LOUD bell. Hope it didn't hurt your ears. ![]() Mike, yep, that is exactly what happens. It spills out and makes a mess of everything. Fractal: Its use of the term demon to describe the person being addressed conveys a sense of inescapable nature. A demon, being a demon, will continue to sin and do evil. Yes, and yes, and yes again. You got it exactly. Thank you for your indepth response. It is appreciated. |
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arthur Senior Member
since 2001-08-14
Posts 678england |
there comes a time when you must forgive yourself. Only then is it possible to move forward arthur |
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