Just wrote this... - pipTalk Forums

How to Join	Member's Area	Private Library	Search	Sanctuary		Login
Main Forums	Discussion	Tech Talk	Mature Content	Archives	A home without a wall, Our haven without ends, A circle we all call Our Family of Friends!

Dark Poetry #3

Just wrote this...

D edgar Grey
Member

since 2002-08-21

Posts 174
Hell...(aka Wisconsin)

0 posted 2002-09-07 06:33 PM

This piece is about Alzheimer's, by the way. Definitely need help with this one! >; )

"stranger"

A past forgotten
Forever to this day
I can never go back
I simply cannot say
Whatever happened then
Is far into the past
My mind has let it fall
Fall silent and fast
I can no longer place you
In this ocean that I drown
Your voice is so familiar
As are your tears and frown
But I still don't know you
So I want you to leave me be
You cry out against this
"I'm your daughter!Can't you see?"
The words you say bruise me
No daughter I have had
But no longer recalling
You tell me I'm going mad
I lash out at this point
What right you have I don't know
Just leave me to myself I say
It's the door to you I show
I can no longer place you
In this ocean that I drown
Your voice is so familiar
As are your tears and frown

[This message has been edited by D edgar Grey (09-07-2002 06:46 PM).]

Zall
Member

since 2002-08-25

Posts 214
London, England

1 posted 2002-09-08 06:27 AM

Leave it,

Its good as it is, I cant make any possitive addition to it.

What I normally do is read it through a couple of times, then go away come back and read it some more, and if you still cant think of anything you probably wont.

Zall

D edgar Grey
Member

since 2002-08-21

Posts 174
Hell...(aka Wisconsin)

2 posted 2002-09-08 02:43 PM

Thanks for the advice! I'll try that and see...Ja.

bsquirrel

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-01-03

Posts 7855

3 posted 2002-09-09 01:02 PM

D.E.G.,
I read this as a moment of clarity
before sinking back into the sea.

Mike

	⇧ top of page ⇧
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.