the dumb luck of being me (repost from open ...8?)

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serenity blaze
Member Empyrean

since 2000-02-02

Posts 27738

0 posted 2002-09-06 04:39 PM

On
line
off-center
middle of the road...
I miss the buzz
the hum of the city
the boys in drag were sweet
Sidney smelled so heavenly
wore tailored Gucci button down
and blue silk boxers,
(very well...)
Musicians,
my mates--
comrades of pain
and I smile now knowing
why drummers are always late
my eyes still see best
in darkness
and I know the secret handshake
(look closely)
see the flash of green?
I know the
smug protection
of being bouncer's pet...
The drinks that flowed
so steadily
for the price
of the dumb luck
of
being
me...
Now PTA
and civic meetings
where the ladies always
smile too wide
complimentary they think
remarking just how
eloquently
I can speak my mind...
(guess I clean up nicely...)
So we do lunch
and order salad
with croutons always
too damned big...
they get too silly
on white wine spritzers,
loosened tongues
drip curiousity,
--breathless--
amused like I'm a bug--
do tell us all about the road...
And I push my lettuce
around my plate--
I miss the meet
of eyes of friends.
I want so badly to go home.

bsquirrel

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-01-03

Posts 7855

1 posted 2002-09-06 05:50 PM

Sen,
For many reasons, I think I know why you've reposted this.

And I'm glad you did.
The spectre of N'Awlins night
clings to this, screaming,
and I'm glad it won't let go.

Mikey

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean

since 2000-02-02

Posts 27738

2 posted 2002-09-06 07:34 PM

I posted this here, because I needed to thank you again, Mike...remember this--

you helped me so much--convinced I was, that I could not write free verse, and you, remember? took an e mail of mine and edited, giving proper line breaks and emphasis, and it was a veritable light bulb in my head, which changed the entire direction of my writing--and, I like to think for the better--since it ultimately gave me more satisfaction than the trite rhymey-dimey crap that was giving even ME diabetes...grin...

So...this is a thank you, to YOU, my talented friend, A TRUE STAR.

Zall
Member

since 2002-08-25

Posts 214
London, England

3 posted 2002-09-06 07:35 PM

I like this,

the contrast between the first and last two stanzas is very well portrayed

Zall

brian sites
Senior Member

since 2002-06-25

Posts 1475
usa

4 posted 2002-09-07 12:30 PM

smile at you
you may never go back
to prebabydays
in person?
But you can always be there in spirit
I like the way
the salad stays
unkempt
on your plate
"met eyes, here"
and Mike?
thank you for showing this beautiful mind
that she writes poetry
by accident
we've all benefited
b

bsquirrel

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-01-03

Posts 7855

5 posted 2002-09-07 12:38 PM

Ah ha!
I THOUGHT this was familiar.
Forgive me male mind for forgetting
the import.
I'll let you take a pass, Sen --
this is your True Star,
and I thank you....

And brian, yes we are,
yes we are.
In truth it was no trouble at all.
Her words are magnets.

Mikey

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