So this is what it feels like

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WhileIWasGone
Member

since 2002-07-18

Posts 486

0 posted 2002-09-05 08:22 PM

So this is what it feels like
To be alone
To hear the sound
Of one lonely heartbeat
As it strikes with fear
Against a chest
Ready to cave in

So this is what it feels like
To know that tomorrow
Was never real
And that you are destined
To relive yesterday
Again and again
One long day at a time

So this is what it feels like
To know that the pain
Was always real
That the demons really did
Come for you
That fire that you felt
Was hell beginning

So this is what it feels like
To be dead on the inside
Yet be forced to live
The daily routine
That life throws at you
The stench of regurgitated dreams
Clog my nostrils with fear
So this

Is what

It feels like

To be

Me

WhiteRose
Member Elite

since 2002-07-23

Posts 3208
somebody's dungeon

1 posted 2002-09-05 09:38 PM

hmmmmm..I'm not sure what to say about this. This is what it feels like to be "you"? I pray tis not so. An intense write!

wranx
Member Elite

since 2002-06-07

Posts 3689
Moved from a shack to a barn

2 posted 2002-09-05 11:13 PM

Etoile,
You know that I am your A-Number One fan, and this piece is another that has a too, too remarkably real hopelessness about it.

It is my wish that your tomorrows, do indeed, become.....real

Je t'aime
~Ed

bsquirrel

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-01-03

Posts 7855

3 posted 2002-09-06 01:30 PM

DDA,
There's a continuing refrain of "Now you know this is what it feels like" in a song by NIN. I couldn't help but think of it while reading this.

And while that one found catharsis through rage,
yours finds .........
itself.

Mike

PoeticGoddessOfDepression
Member

since 2002-07-02

Posts 439
I am everywhere

4 posted 2002-09-06 01:59 PM

I really enjoyed this...
Sad..true.
I don't know where I'm going with this...
anyway...
Wonderful piece.

brian sites
Senior Member

since 2002-06-25

Posts 1475
usa

5 posted 2002-09-07 12:45 PM

hug

Star T
Member

since 2002-07-12

Posts 182
Philadelphia, US

6 posted 2002-09-07 01:05 AM

that was very well put together.very sad and touchy just the way i love my poetry to be.we have a lot in common...i could see it in some of the poem lines.

A. L. Becker
Member

since 2002-09-06

Posts 167
San Francisco, California

7 posted 2002-09-07 03:17 AM

"That fire that you felt
Was hell beginning"
hmmmm, i thought it meant i wuz in love...DOH!

Annie :-

Ceinwyn
Member Elite

since 2000-07-09

Posts 2175
VA

8 posted 2002-09-07 03:29 PM

hauntingly sad...

Kristen

If at first you don't succeed destroy all the evidence that you tried.

[This message has been edited by Ceinwyn (09-07-2002 03:30 PM).]

WhileIWasGone
Member

since 2002-07-18

Posts 486

9 posted 2002-09-07 06:25 PM

Thanks guys for the kind replies...

DeaDiAmore

Opeth
Senior Member

since 2001-12-13

Posts 1543
The Ravines

10 posted 2002-09-08 03:26 PM

"So this is what it feels like
To be alone
To hear the sound
Of one lonely heartbeat
As it strikes with fear
Against a chest
Ready to cave in"

~ If a writer can capture his/her experience and release that experience in words so others can completely relate, and if the writer can do so in the opening stanza, then the reader will WANT to continue on reading...you have done so here.

"So this is what it feels like
To know that tomorrow
Was never real
And that you are destined
To relive yesterday
Again and again
One long day at a time"

~ Like being captured in a continuous, and in this case, unbearable or undesirable "loop" When will it ever end?

"So this is what it feels like
To know that the pain
Was always real
That the demons really did
Come for you
That fire that you felt
Was hell beginning"

~ So what you felt, what you believed to be true, was real all along...and it hurts.

"So this is what it feels like
To be dead on the inside
Yet be forced to live
The daily routine
That life throws at you
The stench of regurgitated dreams
Clog my nostrils with fear"

~ Yes, how could your dreams ever come true when you are living in a constant loop of yesterdays?

"So this

Is what

It feels like

To be

Me"

~ In other words to be dead, alone, in pain, unable to live your dreams...a tragic write, indeed. Dark, moving, emotional, kept my interest throughout.

Well done.

WhileIWasGone
Member

since 2002-07-18

Posts 486

11 posted 2002-09-11 02:39 PM

Thanks for the reply opeth...and thanks for reading...

DeaDiAmore

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