Empty - pipTalk Forums

How to Join	Member's Area	Private Library	Search	Sanctuary		Login
Main Forums	Discussion	Tech Talk	Mature Content	Archives	A home without a wall, Our haven without ends, A circle we all call Our Family of Friends!

rascalx
Senior Member

since 1999-08-25

Posts 590
Florence, SC, USA

0 posted 2003-01-01 09:17 AM

v1.
   My heart is littered with the empty carcass
   of a relationship gone bad
   Devoid of feeling and fears and empty
   of emotions I wish I still had
   An empty vessel that won't hold the tears
   of a love that made me sad

Ch.
   I need a love to fulfill me
   I need to be filled full of love

v2.
   Empty conversations are all that is left
   of what was you and I
   And when you ask me if I'm doing OK
   I tell you another empty lie
   There is an empty space between us
   that gets bigger with each goodbye

chorus

v3.
   Days of empty minutes that get longer
   because I'm not with you
   Sleepless nights of empty dreams remind me
   each morning that we are through
   I lay there alone in the dark wondering
   if you feel empty too...

chorus

fade

SPIRIT
Senior Member

since 2002-12-29

Posts 1745
California Desert

1 posted 2003-01-01 02:38 PM

I thought this really terrific, a great read.

LADY_DEATH
Member

since 2002-11-29

Posts 105
Fl

2 posted 2003-01-02 11:15 AM

A great artistic vision.

Eromyna
Member

since 2002-11-29

Posts 306
Pheonix, AZ, USA

3 posted 2003-01-02 12:10 PM

I like.

BldWhtRose
Junior Member

since 2001-09-24

Posts 38
Alabama USA

4 posted 2003-01-09 02:06 AM

Yes, just as it should be...
Glad to see you are still alive, I think ??

Moon Dust

Member Elite

since 1999-06-11

Posts 2177
Skelmersdale, UK

5 posted 2003-01-10 06:28 PM

cool

If your afraid of the dark, then why did you come?

Barbara Trautman
Member

since 2002-10-23

Posts 90

6 posted 2003-01-10 09:24 PM

Your pain is palpable. It is a cliche to say this, too, will pass. Sometimes it never goes away. I am too much of a novice and am looking for too much help for myself to be critical but I really do feel that you have been honest and very moving in your writing. I do hope I'm not just being taken in by a creative poet. But, I feel for you. Good luck. Barbara

angelfriend
Member

since 2003-01-11

Posts 52
Michigan USA

7 posted 2003-01-11 01:01 AM

Your poem really moved me. I can relate to the feelings very well myself. The chorus in particular struck me. I have had feelings of late about needing to give love - but having no one to give it to. You talk of needing to be filled with love. Kind of the opposite spectrum but still being alone without sharing love. Thanks for sharing your poem. I think it is excellent.

Dark Kisses
Member

since 2001-06-24

Posts 364
Flat lands of Kansas

8 posted 2003-01-16 09:30 PM

I think at some time in our lives, we feel this loneliness. We want, we reach and we seem to fall flat on our face in the process. Stand up, brush yourself off and lift that head up high once again....

Kethry
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-07-29

Posts 9082
Victoria Australia

9 posted 2003-01-17 05:24 AM

rascalx,
what a stunning song!
Kethry

Here in the midst of my lonely abyss, a single joy I find...your presence in my mind. Unknown

hohenstein
New Member

since 2003-01-17

Posts 9

10 posted 2003-01-17 08:26 PM

i know where your coming from and just when i thought id lost it you brought it to the forefront. thank you and damm you

	⇧ top of page ⇧
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.