Dark Poetry #3 |
Burn me Away |
~Allie~ Junior Member
since 2002-05-23
Posts 13New York |
I cant breathe in without shaking As the candle flickers out the only thing that makes me feel un-lonely is fading I'll let it burn out Let me burn out Light a match for a cigarette and your picture Im burned, now its your turn I think the smoke is attracted to my eyes because they swell up in tears The fire that consumes the last memory of you, goes to my hand I watch as my fingers slowly burn off -Pain on my hand dulls the one in my heart, so I whisper to the flames.. "Burn me away" Allie |
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© Copyright 2002 Allie Vela - All Rights Reserved | |||
MidnightSon Member
since 2002-05-15
Posts 312between the gutter & the stars |
this reminds me of a friend o mine that used to coat her hand in hairspray and then light it on fire. she'd put it out before it burned through. (or tried to... got a nasty scar on her left hand from lettin it go too long one time.) but to your write. if you extinguish a match's flame, it never comes back. just a thought. i like the mood of this. not sad...but something.... it's our struggle for identity that leaves us all unknown [This message has been edited by MidnightSon (08-31-2002 03:54 PM).] |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
~Allie~, Only metaphor, right? (I'd hope so -- or you couldn't type poem very quickly) Mike |
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Dragon Mistress Member
since 2002-08-26
Posts 289Washington, USA. |
Good piece!! Much liked -Tanya ~*~I'm only a dreamer, with broken dreams, and only words to fall back on~*~ |
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Chameleon Member
since 2002-08-07
Posts 99Australia |
I cant breathe in without shaking As the candle flickers out the only thing that makes me feel un-lonely is fading I'll let it burn out Let me burn out Light a match for a cigarette and your picture Im burned, now its your turn I think the smoke is attracted to my eyes because they swell up in tears The fire that consumes the last memory of you, goes to my hand I watch as my fingers slowly burn off -Pain on my hand dulls the one in my heart, so I whisper to the flames.. "Burn me away" ----------------------------------- I like it, its quite emphatic. The images leave me not sad, not pity, but numb... There goes to show of my character. |
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~Allie~ Junior Member
since 2002-05-23
Posts 13New York |
mike~ yes it is only a metaphor.. i would never burn my hand off or id be left with scars to remind me of the guy... |
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brian sites Senior Member
since 2002-06-25
Posts 1475usa |
Damn! this is GOOD looking for more.... brian |
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