»
Archives
»
Dark Poetry #3
»
Unwanted
| Dark Poetry #3 |
|
Unwanted |
|
|
Zall Member
since 2002-08-25
Posts 214London, England |
I lie still My consciousness slipping away Neither asleep nor awake All sensation seems distant The buzz of each neon letter before it glows The slow trickle from the corner of my mouth The warming of the cold floor beneath me The whisper of falling rain Who I used to be doesn’t matter This doorway’s unwanted guest This city’s unwanted denizen God’s unwanted son |
||
| © Copyright 2002 Aaron Zall - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
Dragon Mistress Member
since 2002-08-26
Posts 289Washington, USA. |
*scratches head in thought* Hmm... Its great work! I loved it!! -Tanya ~*~I'm only a dreamer, with broken dreams, and only words to fall back on~*~ |
||
|
wranx Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689Moved from a shack to a barn |
Nice n' hopeless, Zall ~wranx In reply to "which way do we go?", the answer was never "straight", but, "progressively forward". |
||
|
Zall Member
since 2002-08-25
Posts 214London, England |
Thanks guys |
||
|
Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
Good stuff...wranx said it well with 'hopeless' - yeah, there is that quality about... I think we've all felt this way sometime or another...more times than we care to admit hah... you reached me with this one..  K |
||
|
MidnightSon Member
since 2002-05-15
Posts 312between the gutter & the stars |
this reminds me of those i see downtown with their lives wrapped up in a shopping cart. and it reminds me of fight club. a gray and melancholy portrait. it's our struggle for identity that leaves us all unknown |
||
|
brian sites Senior Member
since 2002-06-25
Posts 1475usa |
good 'n powerful yes does remind of fightclub liking your style, Aaron brian [This message has been edited by brian sites (09-02-2002 10:43 AM).] |
||
|
Zall Member
since 2002-08-25
Posts 214London, England |
Thanks for praise guys, fight club was great, does remind me of it reading the piece through again. "sticking feathers up your butt does not make you a chicken" Tyler |
||
|
devina Member Elite
since 1999-10-28
Posts 3539Cali |
Been late on the welcome Aaron...(kinda partial to the name...hubby spells it the same way) enjoyed the read- and welcome from lil ole me!!! Open arms can be the most fragile in the world... |
||
|
serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Okay...here is serenity's blues clues of spirituality... I feel like it's a mystical scavenger hunt. Each of us, in search of a very personal "Holy Grail." And? It's not that we ain't wanted by God, but just that we ain't done yet. Great poem. |
||
bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
Zall, We all get doorway-sleepy now and again. Mike |
||
|
Zall Member
since 2002-08-25
Posts 214London, England |
Thank you all, glad you like it Aaron |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
