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Dark Poetry #3
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Green Envy
| Dark Poetry #3 |
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Green Envy |
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Tomer Senior Member
since 2002-06-28
Posts 1168Michigan |
Droplets of water trickle, Down a spine of uneven length, As leaves sing to the light of the moon. Eyes titillate with drops of leaf like flavor. Boots of boldness swallow trenches of mud, As my headband remains glued with sweaty impulse. Vines of lengthy proportion stand feverishly tall, As my hands corral the endless wonders, I swing with envious delight. My brashness distills my triumph, As my journey comes to a halt, My heart succumbs to the faintest drop. I embraced a mystique of green envy, As I prolonged my breaths of wisdom. I created a mist of bewilderment, as my journey became an obsession. |
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| © Copyright 2002 Tomer Fried - All Rights Reserved | |||
Moon Dust
since 1999-06-11
Posts 2177Skelmersdale, UK |
I like the way you wove your thoughts into a lifes journey. Well done and I hope to see more in Dark  If your afraid of the dark, then why did you come? |
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fractal007 Senior Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 1958 |
Whoa! I love your use of alliteration in your highly descriptive language and imagery. This is definitely one that belongs in my library.  "If history is to change, let it change. If the world is to be destroyed, so be it. If my fate is to die, I must simply laugh" |
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Tomer Senior Member
since 2002-06-28
Posts 1168Michigan |
Thank you for all of the positive feedback....much obliged. Tomer |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
I like this poem, Tomer. I think your words are strong enough to stand without the adjective crutch. Mike |
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Dragon Mistress Member
since 2002-08-26
Posts 289Washington, USA. |
wowzie! I think thats all I can really say! Loved it Tomer! -Tanya ~*~I'm only a dreamer, with broken dreams, and only words to fall back on~*~ |
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