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wranx
Member Elite

since 2002-06-07

Posts 3689
Moved from a shack to a barn

0 posted 2002-10-12 12:42 PM

For my Etoile

I’ve walked to the edge
And am halted
By the chasm below

I stand on the crumbling brink
Of what was
Waiting to take that last step

Stare ahead through the mists
Of what isn’t
(Cogent possibilities)

And wonder

If all that has transpired
In my odyssey
To arrive here
Now
On the lip
Of indeterminate futurity

Has mattered in the least

I raise my arms to encompass
That, which is not there
(Compelling prospects)

And hope

That what I have learned
While stumbling
My way to the rim
Of this
Eventuality

Is enough to sustain me

When, at last
I step out
Off
Through
That beclouding fog

Into the clear blue light
That is you

~wranx

In reply to "which way do we go?", the answer was never "straight", but, "progressively forward".

~wranx~

[This message has been edited by wranx (10-12-2002 01:01 AM).]

WhiteRose
Member Elite

since 2002-07-23

Posts 3208
somebody's dungeon

1 posted 2002-10-12 12:55 PM

awwww..tis quite lovely. Enjoyed this much dear wranx.

Amaranthine
Member

since 2002-10-06

Posts 61
ON Canada

2 posted 2002-10-12 02:47 AM

can eventuality ever
be enough
to sustain us???
can eventuality ever
be enough
to sustain
me?

Your poem tips my balance
and leaves me as I was before
-
more illusions
=
happier
+
less happy

Thank u

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean

since 2000-02-02

Posts 27738

3 posted 2002-10-12 11:20 AM

*tears*

yes....exactly!

EleanorMoonbaby
Member

since 2002-09-02

Posts 202
England, UK

4 posted 2002-10-12 03:27 PM

yAAAAAAAAY! go wranx! I liked this poem, something i could identify with. well done!
Ellie *) (drunk again)

"Last night, I had a dream that I went to the doctors, and she gave me eight minutes to live. I'd spent thirty minutes in the f***ing waiting room"- S

brian sites
Senior Member

since 2002-06-25

Posts 1475
usa

5 posted 2002-10-15 07:30 PM

Ed,
in my opinion,
this
IS
your
masterpiece

very moving
and one that
has
universal understanding
for everyone
at some time in their lives

stepped off---
b

WhileIWasGone
Member

since 2002-07-18

Posts 486

6 posted 2002-10-15 09:18 PM

Thank you Ed ....this is a beautiful poem.
Hugs

H.

Cpat Hair

Member Patricius

since 2001-06-05

Posts 11793

7 posted 2002-10-16 04:02 PM

And wonder

If all that has transpired
In my odyssey
To arrive here
Now
On the lip
Of indeterminate futurity

Has mattered in the least

I raise my arms to encompass
That, which is not there
(Compelling prospects)

And hope

That what I have learned
While stumbling
My way to the rim
Of this
Eventuality

Is enough to sustain me

OK love these lines..the rest ( being honest here) seems to be stilted compared to the thought flow in these. almost as if the lines I copied are in and of themselves the essence, the rest lies around it as a wrapper to sell this...these lines...

It's good stuff... and I can look at so much of what I have written and see the same artifice used..a core set of good lines wrapped in others that are not as strong nor as relevent to the whole... (chuckling) Hey I just want you to do better than me!!!!

always a pleasure to read your words my friend... hope the opinion is taken as it is meant... not as an attck, but just an insight into how I read this and what i see as strong and what I see as not so strong in it.

Poet deVine

Administrator

Member Seraphic

since 1999-05-26

Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley

8 posted 2002-10-16 07:38 PM

This kind of writing is not like bowling sir. It is the writing that we all understand and some of us live. I enjoyed it very much.

wranx
Member Elite

since 2002-06-07

Posts 3689
Moved from a shack to a barn

9 posted 2002-10-17 12:35 PM

Anne, Thanks so much for your kind comment

Amaranthine, your comment and read are appreciated

Witch? exactly!

Ellie, I hope you like it when sober too, thanks

brian, stalwart, thank you

Etoile, I am elated that you find it so.*kiss*

Ron? there is no offense taken, I wrote what I thought necessary. Maybe it is redundant, but I was making a point to myself and I'm hardheaded.

Thank you Sharon, you've been very supportive.

~Ed

Cpat Hair

Member Patricius

since 2001-06-05

Posts 11793

10 posted 2002-10-17 08:24 AM

Ed,
If you wrote to make a point to yourself or about a particular situation, the rest of the wrapping is understandable and neccessary. I read it a bit differently, from a less situational place perhaps. As for hardheaded..(laughing) THAT I understand all too well!!!

I have enjoyed a great deal reading the lines you have graced us with and enjoyed watching more and more layers seemingly expressed in what you do share... I know good when I read it...and I always look for your posts...because I know they will be good....

Later Dude..

clumsy
Member

since 2002-10-10

Posts 106
canada.

11 posted 2002-10-17 10:27 AM

i think this is pretty

"i'm a light headed wonder."
-------------------

devina
Member Elite

since 1999-10-28

Posts 3539
Cali

12 posted 2002-10-17 01:28 PM

sighs...Ed...??

this is beautiful, as you are inside.

and this?
"On the lip
Of indeterminate futurity"
*kiss those lips of futurity sweetie* as you are amazing in this!

nice to see you too.

Open arms can be the most fragile in the world...

bsquirrel

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-01-03

Posts 7855

13 posted 2002-10-18 02:57 PM

Everything included
(and occluded).

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