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Dark Poetry #3
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devina
Member Elite
since 1999-10-28
Posts 3539
Cali

0 posted 2002-08-11 09:23 PM


The dark abyss
in back of throat
an albatross
I’ll surely choke
Spitting up
the last of you
Won’t fall again
I’m sure.
I’m through.

Through with hurt
and death stain grip
Done with blending
all you’ve stripped
Contagious you
inside my shine
stinging, bitter
pride resigned

Clearer now
no more turmoil
stomach lining
clean and boiled
Rays of settle
grip my skin
pulling, pulling
spit of sin.

  

Open arms can be the most fragile in the world...



© Copyright 2002 Tanya Nicole Bustamante - All Rights Reserved
PoeticGoddessOfDepression
Member
since 2002-07-02
Posts 439
I am everywhere
1 posted 2002-08-11 09:29 PM


"Spitting up
the last of you
Won’t fall again
I’m sure.
I’m through."

How many times have I said something like that?
But unlike you, i give up easily...
anyway, wonderful poem, Devina.
Continue...

-Sara

"Your suffering will free you."
-Otep

brian sites
Senior Member
since 2002-06-25
Posts 1475
usa
2 posted 2002-08-12 01:05 AM


you amaze me
I think I got some imagery down
but, the smooth skinrhythm you got,
I ain't got-
an I'm green.
can ya spare sum?
please the me sighdee?
BS

I never aimed at reality; I aimed at truth. --Orson Welles

Purity
Senior Member
since 2001-11-20
Posts 526
Once Upon, USA
3 posted 2002-08-12 02:22 AM


I would venture that you being the albatross would rise above such contagion as this, and in your "Wont fall again, I'm sure...I'm through" are words of hope that I would pray you can mentor me into living and conveying in my own life.
Again you prove yourself awesome, LADY!! (lol)

News_From_Nowhere
Member
since 2002-06-14
Posts 173
CU, NY
4 posted 2002-08-12 02:54 AM


This came across in a hidden dualism way as well...
I had images based on your words choke, throat, spit..etc., that reminded me of a controlling requests adult theme I've been through.
But yet that's a take less than implied by
the poetic image here.
You go, Devina!
Amazing

"So give life to your dreams, for there lies your survival, and cast your heart beyond those faded scenes, and I'll bring you through the storm

Moon Dust
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 1999-06-11
Posts 2177
Skelmersdale, UK
5 posted 2002-08-12 07:11 AM


wow i liked it

If your afraid of the dark, then why did you come?

beccymelling
Junior Member
since 2002-08-09
Posts 31
Birmingham, England
6 posted 2002-08-12 08:04 AM


Wow Devina.

What an amazing talent you have for imagery.

I love the way you take emotional pain and relay it in a physical sense to heighten the readers awareness of what you are going through.

"Contagious you" I love the idea of the person that has caused you so much pain being contagious - really struck a chord with me.

"Rays of settle
grip my skin
pulling, pulling
spit of sin."

What can I say? absolutely fantastic!


devina
Member Elite
since 1999-10-28
Posts 3539
Cali
7 posted 2002-08-12 11:21 AM


Sara- don't you go giving up...even if they start the name calling...why? because I can make somethen pretty out of every harsh word thrown...grins...
*confidence lady*

My siBri~ skinrhythm?? oohh...D likes it...(meet me in adult with words like that sir ) And share you say? well...I'd have to see how good you look in my mini skirt n knee high army boots, then- we'll talk!! LOL You are too cute poet....thank you...

Chris- you are the sweetest!!! I might be strong..but as they say, "sometimes- being a b**** is the only thing a woman has to hang on to"...as quoted ( I LIVE by it!! ) You have that strength gripping you and it will force it's way out...I just know..

NFN- (sorry, shortened you..lol) glad to provide some imagery today..that is a bonus to know...and here I was just cleansing a bit..thank you.

Moon Dust- glad you enjoyed!!

Beccy- I always feel better knowing I can get someone to relate to the event through poetry...thanks lady!!!

Open arms can be the most fragile in the world...



littlewing
Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655
New York
8 posted 2003-08-10 12:55 PM


this is venom devina . . .
pure beauty

just dusting the shelves in here . . .
and found this before my eyes . . .

green_itchy_stuff
Senior Member
since 2003-06-26
Posts 1929
New Caney, Tx
9 posted 2003-08-10 01:10 AM


Nice poem.  I cant relate but I can appreciate.

GIS

a trickle of music from a well
let it spill and roar like hell!

{Lord knows Im a VOODOO CHILD}-JIMI

wranx
Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689
Moved from a shack to a barn
10 posted 2003-08-10 01:36 AM


And happy that the littlewing found it.

I seem to have missed this the 1st time through.

Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348
Florida
11 posted 2003-08-10 10:21 AM


Ohhhhhhhh..this was really good!

Susan

shytownboy
Junior Member
since 2003-08-06
Posts 14
Chicago
12 posted 2003-08-10 12:19 PM


I like what I am reading more and more with you. Keep it up. You have a very good gift for words.
SharaRose
Member Elite
since 2003-07-19
Posts 2501
Somewhere out there~
13 posted 2003-08-10 12:42 PM


WOW...good that it's over...ahem...this is strong. Making the break rips the soul. Hurts so bad you swear dying is alot better. It's good to get it out though. It's for sure that wouldn't be a good thing to keep inside. Hurt to read this one. Ouch!

SharaRose @-->--


Of sound, and speech let all lift the hearer!

eor
Senior Member
since 2002-09-26
Posts 959
blues & greys
14 posted 2003-08-14 12:49 PM


honestly, i have no wrods for this, you left me breathless...

"in a past life i was a woodcarver's knife: the sharpend blade of a wood cutter, the eldest son of the chief's brother: a maker of drums"

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