liquid wish and green to grey

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Dark Poetry #3

liquid wish and green to grey

allan
Senior Member

since 2000-04-09

Posts 620
On the road

0 posted 2002-08-11 10:25 AM

remembering when you sparkled
and i was the reflection
of your light
remembering when you left
my light was gone

we ran on moors filled with sun
travelled locked in love
by our eyes and tongues
nights from castle walls
stars serene in the dark blue sky
the heat from us smiled on the crowd
as the rain hit the streets
and shook our world alive
in a cocoon watching the flickering stage
drifting along a stream of words
we waltzed to dreamtime music
ghostly images unseen warning of an end
unnoticed in the shining hour

in the church the wooden beams
blessed our love
friends and family held the signs
behind their eyes
unspoken doubts left outside
i looked in your eyes and dreamed i saw me
instead all i saw were dreams reflected
that flew like a child's balloon
and drifted to fall on broken glass

take me back to die once more
in your arms i died to life
and slept
let me sleep again and fall
away from a world grown so grey

take my life and hold me
i need to feel you near
that moment gone will never return
but i need to feel you by me
and hear again that loving lesson
i will never learn

beccymelling
Junior Member

since 2002-08-09

Posts 31
Birmingham, England

1 posted 2002-08-11 02:00 PM

Hi

I really liked this. You capture your reader and really get them to feel involved in your pain.

My favourite lines are definately:

"i looked in your eyes and dreamed i saw me
instead all i saw were dreams reflected
that flew like a child's balloon
and drifted to fall on broken glass"

Fantastic stuff.

Beccy.

allan
Senior Member

since 2000-04-09

Posts 620
On the road

2 posted 2002-08-11 05:03 PM

Thanks Beccy. Cheers!

Moon Dust

Member Elite

since 1999-06-11

Posts 2177
Skelmersdale, UK

3 posted 2002-08-11 06:29 PM

allen it seems so lonely and i can indentify with it in some ways. good wrte tho.

If your afraid of the dark, then why did you come?

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