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Dark Poetry #3
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New Member
since 2002-08-08
Posts 8

0 posted 2002-08-09 12:14 PM

asphyxiate, strangle, gag, cut
choke me until i suffocate
cancer, tumor, spread, sputter
for i am nothing
without you
only death and decaying mounds of bone
red and black and brown and pain
your control has washed over me
like beautiful acid
consuming my breast
gnashing its teeth hard against my neck
my hunger for you is too dark to shroud
and too engulfing to swallow

© Copyright 2002 heysara - All Rights Reserved
since 2002-05-19
Posts 175
St. Louis, Missouri
1 posted 2002-08-09 02:04 AM

Your Imagery was Captivating; Welcome to Passions...I look forward to more ~Rayne

One day Men will look back & say
that I gave birth to the 20th Century
             Jack the Ripper ~1888

since 2002-07-26
Posts 113

2 posted 2002-08-09 05:09 AM

ive been trying to put into words what i feel and somehow i just cant organize everything into a poem, thanks for doing this!!!! i love it

* you can hurt me...with your bare hands,or
you can hurt me with the sharp edge of what you said.....* jewel kilcher

Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
3 posted 2002-08-09 11:41 AM

Heysara, Welcome to Passions.  There is a lot of truth in this writing, and it sounds as if there is a struggle, first hand.

Looking forward to reading more from you.

If I whisper, will you listen?...
I would rather be silent and write, than speak loudly and be bound

Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855

4 posted 2002-08-09 01:47 PM

One of your friends, Sara?

Since the poem can be read as someone battling cancer, it can stay, heysara. I like your imagery and tough, taut words.

Welcome to PIP. I'm looking forward to see what you have in store for Dark.

[This message has been edited by bsquirrel (08-09-2002 01:49 PM).]

since 2002-07-02
Posts 439
I am everywhere
5 posted 2002-08-09 01:52 PM

Bailee? Is that you?
Either way, this is a good poem. (if this is bailee, 'i told you so!')
Hope you keep writing in dark.

...oh, sorry. I thought you were bailee...

[This message has been edited by PoeticGoddessOfDepression (08-09-2002 07:47 PM).]

New Member
since 2002-08-08
Posts 8

6 posted 2002-08-09 03:59 PM

Hey everyone-
Thanks for commenting on the poem. It's always a little nerve-wracking (at least for me) to share personal writing with others, so thanks for being kind.   Anyway, to let everyone here know a little bit about me, my name is Sara, I'm from NC, and I'm a senior in high school. I look forward to future interactions with you all.

Moon Dust
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 1999-06-11
Posts 2177
Skelmersdale, UK
7 posted 2002-08-11 07:33 PM

wow i like it. Welcome to passions and the Dark forum, I hope to see more.

If your afraid of the dark, then why did you come?

Member Elite
since 1999-10-28
Posts 3539
8 posted 2002-08-11 08:44 PM

Hey Sara...grins...

this is a touch subject to pen...and you did well...the sharp edge has to be there, I think, to get the emotion across...

*clapping* for the moderator...GO MIKEY!!!

Welcome to dark, be sure to check out our other forums as well!!!

take care you!!

Open arms can be the most fragile in the world...

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