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Krishankins

Senior Member

since 2002-06-23

Posts 972
Texas

0 posted 2002-06-23 03:44 AM

We, members of the Broken Hearts Club, have all had to wear our smiles to keep the pain of a love lost hidden.

I smile, I laugh
I'm dying inside
Smoothe is the surface
Of love's suicide

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean

since 2000-02-02

Posts 27738

1 posted 2002-06-23 05:05 AM

I LOVE THE metaphor...and grin...sigh...I can RELATE.

[This message has been edited by serenity (06-23-2002 05:05 AM).]

Tiersdin
Member Elite

since 2000-11-17

Posts 2364
east coast

2 posted 2002-06-23 09:42 AM

Awesome!

~Tier

"I shall never bond again, as I have bonded with you..."

wranx
Member Elite

since 2002-06-07

Posts 3689
Moved from a shack to a barn

3 posted 2002-06-23 11:58 AM

Very nice, complete thought

And...not too many pesky words.

~wranx

"Writing is a perfectly natural thing to do....just remember to wash your hands afterward"....Heinlein.

bsquirrel

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-01-03

Posts 7855

4 posted 2002-06-23 01:50 PM

That reminds me of Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness, when Corgan keeps sneering "Love is suicide!"

So yes, I like it.

A whoooole bunch.

She said burn ... together.
-TON

Xeonox

Senior Member

since 2000-04-01

Posts 1764
CA, USA

5 posted 2002-07-08 12:08 PM

i like the way you make it rhyme..just keep it going longer.

Ronil (A mask for everyday. Imagine a life without them.)

Jessica

Member

since 2001-06-28

Posts 350
South AL

6 posted 2002-07-08 04:52 AM

I loved this piece, Kris. It touched me to the very core; and it also got me to thinking. Maybe that is a good thing, maybe not. However, your writing always seems to have a mystery to it. Makes me wonder if you sit in trees watching me and have somehow cracked into my computer looking at all of work that I refuse to post lol. (sorry, 4am here and I am reaching the verge of delerious) Anyways... Awesome write my friend.

~Jess

MidnightSon
Member

since 2002-05-15

Posts 312
between the gutter & the stars

7 posted 2002-07-08 04:57 AM

your style is wonderful
and true.

it's our struggle for identity that leaves us all unknown

devina
Member Elite

since 1999-10-28

Posts 3539
Cali

8 posted 2002-07-08 11:21 AM

Hey Kris- you forgot to tell them how I tickle the laughs out before you have a chance a lusty suicide? eh?

Loved this....and too bad I'm not much at sewing or I'd fix you right up!!!

Open arms can be the most fragile in the world...

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