navwin » Archives » Dark Poetry #3 » With and Without
Dark Poetry #3
Post A Reply Post New Topic With and Without Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
BluesSerenade
Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549
By the Seaside

0 posted 2001-10-30 12:46 PM


I don't want more than you have given me,
for we wouldn't be what we have become if you had,
even if you could, likewise we both know that we can't.  You are the whole of my collection arranged in the shape of my heart, filling the void, that which I have learned to live with and without.  I don't shine without your polish, at the same time I am not tarnished without you.  I want to believe you are there without a doubt when I teeter at the edge of myself.  You are the hollow sound that echo's in my private chambers, a constant beat keeping rhythm with me.  I've emptied the secrets of myself into you, a place that you've touched and I hope you can feel.  Yet I am not empty, nor am I incomplete without you, for I've arranged you in keeping, just so.  

© Copyright 2001 BluesSerenade - All Rights Reserved
EagleOne
Member Elite
since 2000-03-07
Posts 2829
Between a laugh and a tear...
1 posted 2001-10-30 01:42 AM


Welcome aboard, I enjoyed your thoughts!

"Let me pierce the realm of glamour
So I know just what I am." ~ Van Morrison


qtpieelmo
Senior Member
since 2000-07-04
Posts 989
Sesame Street :) hee hee ,NY
2 posted 2001-10-30 08:27 AM


}{ey, I really liked this!! Welcome to DP!!   LOVE ELMO!!
BluesSerenade
Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549
By the Seaside
3 posted 2001-10-30 12:42 PM


Thank you EagleOne,
I appreciate your comments.
Obviously I need to familiarize
myself with the center button,
or I can play it safe and stay
to the left of the page.  
Don't mind me, I was just
pretending to know what I was
doing when I didn't.    

Thank you for the warm welcome qtpie!
It takes me awhile to get comfortable,
but I certainly enjoy the variety
at passions.  I'm glad you enjoyed
what I wrote.  

catalinamoon
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543
The Shores of Alone
4 posted 2001-10-30 02:23 PM


Yes, welcome, and I love your poem. It expresses much that I am feeling.
Sandra

BluesSerenade
Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549
By the Seaside
5 posted 2001-10-30 05:43 PM


Thank you so much for reading Sandra.  At times I am left with a sense of regret when I make my feelings known.  It's almost like a game of charades and perhaps I should have kept quiet.  
nakdthoughts
Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200
Between the Lines
6 posted 2001-10-31 06:44 AM


Enjoyed your words *s, when  posting just  copy and paste what you have in word or  wordpad, it will stay that format.

If typing directly here you must hit enter to make it go to the next line, if you want and only click center if you want  everything centered but you still have to  hit enter for your line breaks. You will get use to it. and Welcome

Maureen...

"For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart.
It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul."
(J.Garland)

BluesSerenade
Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549
By the Seaside
7 posted 2001-10-31 04:08 PM


Thank you for always reading and encouraging me, I appreciate your warm ways Maureen.
cherish
Senior Member
since 2001-03-25
Posts 1639
swimming in fairy floss...........
8 posted 2001-10-31 10:37 PM


"You are the whole of my collection arranged in the shape of my heart"
i really liked that line Blues! its really beautiful. i enjoyed this poem very much thanks! its a really good first post..perhaps the prelude to even greater poetry? this one touched on many points which i, myself have felt. i can realte to this very well- it was wonderful to see you put it together so well

oh and where are my manners? :

Welcome to Passions!

i hope you enjoy reading the poetry we have here, posting a few more of your own, replying and growing within these walls.
feel free to ask me or any of the other moderators for any help you may need navigating or operating the forum  

once again, this is a great poem! please check your email for a special welcome

~Cherish/Moderator

         

"......",said the wise mute.

BluesSerenade
Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549
By the Seaside
9 posted 2001-11-01 02:23 AM


Thanks a bunch!  So often I choose my favorite phrases when commenting on another person's poetry, and I'm happy you chose yours.  It is that part of me, in the very heart of me that makes me feel whole.  
(most of the time) Thank you Cherish for welcoming me in the nicest way.

xShUgArHiGhx
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150
tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs
10 posted 2001-11-02 11:37 AM


Well Well...Looky here... a newby!!! yay!!!!! WELCOME TO PASSIONS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hehehehehe

"I don't want more than you have given me,
for we wouldn't be what we have become if you had"

I loved that line...it really made me think...its such a simple thing to understand but it still made me think of how i always wish things were different in the past but if they were...where would i be now?? Hmm...well n e wayz WELCOME!!!!!!!!!!!

ShE'S nOt ThE kInDa GiRL..WhO lIkeS tO tElL tHe WorLd AbOuT tHe Way She FEEL'S aBouT hErSelf...ShE tAkEs a LiTtLe TiMe In MakIn uP hEr MiNd..

BluesSerenade
Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549
By the Seaside
11 posted 2001-11-02 08:25 PM


Thank you for the 'looky"
Hey, everyone was a newbie once.
Guess it's my turn now.  

Thanks for the nice welcome.  

EagleOne
Member Elite
since 2000-03-07
Posts 2829
Between a laugh and a tear...
12 posted 2003-04-24 06:11 AM


Still enjoying your thoughts, your words still ring loud...

And now she's in me, always with me, tiny dancer in my hand ~ Bernie Taupin

littlewing
Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655
New York
13 posted 2003-04-24 03:32 PM


Bluesy:

fly on my wind sister . . . .

*wink*  always always singing to me
even in pain . . . be proud of you
and here - you are

xxoo

Local Rebel
Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-21
Posts 5767
Southern Abstentia
14 posted 2003-06-14 10:59 PM


"I've emptied the secrets of myself into you"

oh yeah... true...true ring that has to it

deeply felt... thanks.

timothysangel1973
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Senior Member
since 2001-12-03
Posts 1725
Never close enough
15 posted 2003-06-15 12:43 PM


That was absolutely AWESOME sweet girl.

It's like you say what I feel......

Tima C.

If you cant get rid of the skeletons in your closet, you'd best teach them how to dance.  George Bernard Shaw

Larry C
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-09-10
Posts 10286
United States
16 posted 2003-06-15 10:37 PM


Lori,
You started in dark? I had no idea. But I do like how you began on these blue pages. Excellent write. The more things chang the more they stay the same.

If tears could build a stairway and memories a lane, I'd walk right up to heaven and bring you home again.

Bridget Shenachie
Senior Member
since 2002-01-23
Posts 1056
Kansas USA
17 posted 2003-06-21 09:46 PM


This is a great read and I was so glad that it was bumped to the top again so that I didn't miss it.  This sounds like a perfect description of what intimacy should be.

Shenachie

Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Dark Poetry #3 » With and Without

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary