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Dark Poetry #3
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To My Abuser
| Dark Poetry #3 |
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To My Abuser |
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PoetOfDarkness2002 Junior Member
since 2002-12-06
Posts 41Lost in my dissociative unrealistic world |
**************************************************** This poem I wrote during one of my dark times but i could still see light...It is really to my abuser too... **************************************************** To My Abuser I hope you burn in hell Hell, you know what you did to me Me as in I I don't know Know what you thought, felt, cared Cared? What care? Care is not in your dictionary Dictionary in your mind Mind you, you never cared if I died Died as in dead Dead. Now look who's dead Dead as in not-living Not-living as in gone Gone with the wind Wind is what I was to you after the last time you abused me Me as in I I don't ever want to think about you again Again as in forever, **************************************************** Love Always, |
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| © Copyright 2002 Amanda L. Becker - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Star T Member
since 2002-07-12
Posts 182Philadelphia, US |
that was a nice first post and this also happens to be my first time in dark poetry i always stick to teen poetry.neways thru the dark times...please never stop seeing the light.and if in truth u do have an abuser pray GOD to redeem his soul...and help u forgive him... |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
A nice expression of your feelings...James |
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fractal007 Senior Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 1958 |
A great poem and a great start to a "career" here at Passions. As far as constructive critique I don't believe that your constant repeating the ending of the last line at the beginning of the next line technique did any justice to your message or your poem. Rather, it encumbered the presentation and flow of the poem. However, on the positive side, your poem is very honest and hard-hitting. You are not afraid of "telling it like it is." I admire that quality, especially when it's in someone who's been through what you've been through. "If history is to change, let it change. If the world is to be destroyed, so be it. If my fate is to die, I must simply laugh" |
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D edgar Grey Member
since 2002-08-21
Posts 174Hell...(aka Wisconsin) |
I'm gonna try not to say anything as to what I feel about the person who did this to you, but I concur with earlier comments: Excellent show of emotions and incredibly painful yet true. The flow was phenomenal! (And...yeah, I hope the...*ahem*...person...has a miserable life.) If homosexuality is a disease, let's all call in queer to work: "Hello. Can't work today, still queer." (If only...>; P) |
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PoetOfDarkness2002 Junior Member
since 2002-12-06
Posts 41Lost in my dissociative unrealistic world |
Thank you to everyone that replied..It brought a smile to my face...For those of you who commented on the guy who hurt me, he died not too long ago from emphazyma (sp?), but I still deal with the aftermath..But survival is the key...Anyways, thanks everyone..Keep shining! Love Always, |
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MidnightSon Member
since 2002-05-15
Posts 312between the gutter & the stars |
enjoyed the flow and style of this. and i also enjoyed its strength. welcome. enjoy your stay, however long it is. through the ravages of sleeplessness lies the comfort of the night |
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WorrosLanrete Junior Member
since 2002-11-14
Posts 45 |
Good Poem I dont like Hell, and Golden Rule applies to forgiveness as well IMO |
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LADY_DEATH Member
since 2002-11-29
Posts 105Fl |
I really liked this poem because i know the feeling of what it is like to be abused.I've been abused three different times, by three different people, but along the way I managed to help somebody else.Which made me feel better about myself and what a loser those guys really were!!!Keep on writing!!I'll want to read some more! |
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ashley Junior Member
since 2002-10-31
Posts 10U.S. |
MY mom was in a relationship where she was abused. My parents were married for 18 years and the last 5 years were pure hell for her. I admire your courage to leave it took my mom years. Just know that you are better then him and don't let him continue to ruin your life Write for yourself and take other's critisim in stride, for if your not true to yourself why write at all? |
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LadyPeach1 Member
since 2001-06-04
Posts 282 |
Gosh, this poem was awesome! I loved it so much. Ashley, your mom went through the SAME exact thing my mother goes thru, i've seen it and i know what its like to have to deal with it. It takes alot to leave! Great poem. LP1 |
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PoetOfDarkness2002 Junior Member
since 2002-12-06
Posts 41Lost in my dissociative unrealistic world |
Thanks everyone...And i will keep writing as long as my hands work...And ashley and ladypeach , i hope your moms can get out of that rotten situation....Keep shining! Love Always, |
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A. L. Becker Member
since 2002-09-06
Posts 167San Francisco, California |
hey again Manda. i'm tryin to read all your stuff 'cause we have the same name, almost  this 1 is my favorite so far. i actually loved the way you picked up on the last word and carried it over to the next line. a nice technique and i thought it actually added to the angry effect."Oh, do not ask, 'What is it?' |
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PoetOfDarkness2002 Junior Member
since 2002-12-06
Posts 41Lost in my dissociative unrealistic world |
hehe, thank you....i usually have my poems ryme, but as i wrote this one it jus kinda worked itself into the way it is....this one is also my favorite... ~*Manda*~ "Love is letting go of fear" |
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qtpieelmo Senior Member
since 2000-07-04
Posts 989Sesame Street :) hee hee ,NY |
I love the way this is written!!  & I'm glad this person cannot hurt u any longer!! Great Job!!  Write more soon!! ELMO |
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