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WisprWnd
Junior Member

since 2003-02-07

Posts 34

0 posted 2003-02-26 01:45 PM

I see they weren't afraid of my eyes wide view.
I see that I must be stupid to cave.
But such is the curse of the fatherless son.
Such is the life of the naive.
I'd stomp my feet and stand. I'd let my visions
soar, but for the pain, the bitter agony of living,
I would roar!
Who can help the wretched dead? Who can fix the dented head of truth?
You'de like to think its you.
Beleive me, I would to.

[This message has been edited by WisprWnd (02-26-2003 01:46 PM).]

bsquirrel

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-01-03

Posts 7855

1 posted 2003-02-26 05:24 PM

I would vote for this poem
if you fixed the spelling.

Jason Lyle
Senior Member

since 2003-02-07

Posts 1438
With my darkling

2 posted 2003-02-26 05:25 PM

Nice write Wispr, I like this.
Jason

Justbleu
Member Elite

since 1999-08-31

Posts 3329
Oregon, Originally From Alaska :)

3 posted 2003-02-26 06:42 PM

A poem's qualities shouldn't be judged solely by it's spelling.....I just voted for it!!!

Bridgette

"Somewhere, somehow, it should be possible to touch someone and never let go again. To hold someone, not for a moment but forever." Andre Brink

SPIRIT
Senior Member

since 2002-12-29

Posts 1745
California Desert

4 posted 2003-02-26 07:54 PM

This one slipped considerably after your Short, Short Rope write. I voted though, good write.I don't believe I have seen you spell BELIEVE correctly at all on any post, but do look at the neat presentation of your other write and compare.

Mistletoe Angel

Member Empyrean

since 2000-12-17

Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon

5 posted 2003-02-27 12:17 PM

(sigh) This is so profoundly expressed, sweet friend, I like how your mind wanders back and forth in serpentine between the sides in judgement, you have my vote, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet friend, thank you for sharing!

May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

"Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..."

Shakira

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-16

Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA

6 posted 2003-02-27 04:42 PM

Enjoyed...James

WisprWnd
Junior Member

since 2003-02-07

Posts 34

7 posted 2003-02-28 05:31 PM

Thanx for liking what you like.
I like that you like the stuff that I like and in turn write about.
WisprWnd.

Poet deVine

Administrator

Member Seraphic

since 1999-05-26

Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley

8 posted 2003-03-08 12:21 PM

I'd like to see the spelling fixed also but the content is very good.

Mysteria

Member Laureate

since 2001-03-07

Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada

9 posted 2003-03-08 03:56 PM

I like the poem but tell you what spelling errors do - they stop the reader cold as they detour and spell the word right, hence loosing the consistency of the poetry. However, you will get a chance to spell check it before book submission time

good thing for the wonders of spell checkers right?

R.E.S.P.E.C.T.
Aretha Franklin

JP
Senior Member

since 1999-05-25

Posts 1343
Loomis, CA

10 posted 2003-03-09 04:49 PM

Spelling is important. We as poets have a duty to allow our work to be judged by its content and effect. When spelling is bad, the effect is affected. The content and meaning get lost in the distraction. Grammar in poetry is fluid thing, we take license with it often and that is okay. Spelling however is something we should pay attention to.

I liked this alot and I am on my way to find more Wispr, but take the advice of many veteran poets here and pay attention to spelling and do not take offense that it was commented upon. Good work comes only from practice and discipline. You have a talent and a knack for turning a phrase - improve upon it for yourself and for those of us who enjoy your work.

Yesterday is ash, tomorrow is smoke; only today does the fire burn.
Nil Desperandum, Fata viem invenient

nakdthoughts
Member Laureate

since 2000-10-29

Posts 19200
Between the Lines

11 posted 2003-03-14 03:07 PM

A very nice poem, if you need help with the spelling just let me know I would be glad to help you, it is one thing I am very good at.
*s
M

SPIRIT
Senior Member

since 2002-12-29

Posts 1745
California Desert

12 posted 2003-04-26 01:07 PM

You know you wanted to get into the book and you have got two in I believe but only if you go in and sign your contracts, they still show up as 'accept' you will lose your spot in the book if you don't get your contracts signed. Email a moderator to find out how it should be done, I would have emailed you but no email address in your profile.

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