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Teen Poetry #4
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TearsOfPearls
Member
since 1999-09-23
Posts 322
Vereeniging, South-Africa

0 posted 2001-03-03 05:52 PM


This one I don't know where it came from...

I've said I'm sorry
what more do you need?
Shoot a hole in my chest
and watch it bleed?
See me fall down
and bellow of pain,
crawling on the ground
leaving my stain?
Kick me in the stomach
judt before I die
and spit in my face
as you laugh goodbye?
Why all this huff and puff?
Why can't sorry just be enough?


Planning big can be a gamble...I have already rolled the dice!

© Copyright 2001 TearsOfPearls - All Rights Reserved
Elvenblood
Member
since 2001-02-17
Posts 409
Maine, USA
1 posted 2001-03-03 06:22 PM


Little bit of spite? I like it. Very "nice". I've never read your work beofre now, I like it!

"Some men see things as they are and say why.
I dream things that never were and say why not." ~RFK

Dopey Dope
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Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
2 posted 2001-03-04 12:44 PM


I thought this poem was great. I mean you said "sorry" to the person, but depending upon the degree of what the situation is.....sometimes sorry just isn't enough.
Anyway, nicely done here.



I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

Allan Riverwood
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502
Winnipeg
3 posted 2001-03-04 03:07 AM


Good job! "As you laugh goodbye" was an excellent line.
As were they all. You expressed yourself well, even if you didn't know where it came from!
See you around.
~Allan

Stupidity makes the world go around...and people like us laugh. ~~Elizabeth, to Allan


xShUgArHiGhx
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150
tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs
4 posted 2001-03-05 04:11 PM


Sometimes i feel like this to...like you can never do enough for the person to make them forgive you. Great poem..sometimes the best poems come from the most unknown places!
EagleScorpion
Senior Member
since 2000-03-08
Posts 1644
Here, Now, Forever
5 posted 2001-07-03 04:00 PM


Powerless to calm the savage beast that torments the very person who torments you..
I'm hoping that this person feels regret for how he treats you..(whether he's fictional or not! :-) and maybe he'll finally say sorry himself??

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