Teen Poetry #4 |
Don't tell me... |
Marshalzu
since 2001-02-15
Posts 2681Lurking |
Don't tell me Don't tell me that you love me I've heard it all before you may think your above me but your always wanting more they say that I adore you or at least that's what they thought but it's apparant that I bore you and I'm amazed how hard I fought they think you are a god but they just cannot see it only takes a nod and your nothing just like me Don't tell me that you love me I've heard it too many times together we won't be unlike in nursery ryhmes. Sorry that I haven't made many comments on other poetry but I really can't comment... I just know how to write them... I think... anyway if anyone can think what ryhmes with osterich I would be really grateful... Marshal Zu. |
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© Copyright 2001 Andrew Sewell - All Rights Reserved | |||
Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
just try it and you'll get the hang of it as of the poem, you expressed yourself well seems like things are rough right now hope things get better thanks for the read keep sharing "So long as men can breathe or eyes can see, So long lives this, and this give life to thee." W.S. |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Hey this was REALLY great. I thought the flow was perfect. I enjoyed this one VERY VERY much. I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. I'm in love with my shadow I admire it daily |
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Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
Yes, this was quite good. The "double-rhyme" thing you pulled in a few places was magnificent. And about replying? You might get the hang of it. There are a few people in here who never reply *coughMASTERcough* but I find that we learn a lot from replying to people's poetry. I often feel uninspired, so I read a few other poems by the good people here and it gets me back into the poetry swing. It could be beneficial, but no pressure. ~Allan Stupidity makes the world go around...and people like us laugh. ~~Elizabeth, to Allan |
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DancinQueen
since 2000-07-29
Posts 1092Kokomo,IN,USA |
sometimes i cant reply either i just dont know what to say bc i cant relate in any way or the poem just doesnt move me. but this was great the flow was really good..i like the end too. keep it up *dq ¤Sometimes the hardest thing to get over, is something you never really had¤ |
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xShUgArHiGhx
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs |
Wow this was a great poem!! Dont totally put aside responding to others...just give it a try and you'll get the hang of it! Your poem flowed very nicely...excellent job! |
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stace_co2003 Member
since 2001-03-30
Posts 497In a dream world |
I love you!!! but then, I'm evil, so it doesn't matter. heehee, anyway, I really liked this poem...gee, you just get better and better as I go thru the list... *s* Stace I'm just glad that now this rainstorm has ended, and I can see the rainbow once again. |
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anonymous albert ?
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
great flow...i enjoyed this read...and great job but the poems about love relate is the poems somewhat about one person...cuz i read it and i think it might work well as seris very similar feelings...anyways...keepw riting...Zu ...? i'm addicted to passions in poetry!...are you? |
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~sugarpie313~ Member
since 2000-09-14
Posts 375Maine, USA |
the rhythm was very very good here. great job i love it, i can relate.. sort of... LOL i dunno hahaha i'm not awake right now just woke up from nap *L* good job tho Valerie Why do you do what u do to me baby...you know if I could I'd do anything for you, please don't ignore me cause you know I adore you |
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cherish Senior Member
since 2001-03-25
Posts 1639swimming in fairy floss........... |
but it's apparant that I bore you.. ive always dreaded that when i go into a relationship...hahah...but this is another great one from you...loved everything about it as usual.. ..AGPFAGP????...DEFINATELY!! "Life is not long and boring, |
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HeAvEnS AnGeL Member
since 2001-05-17
Posts 168The Hot Girl From Canada |
You write beautiful poems, and dont worry about replying it is hard at first but once you do it more often it will get easier. Dont be afraid to tell people your honest opinions they will thank you for it later Don't judge a person untill you have walked a mile in their shoes, this way your a mile away from them, and you have their shoes. |
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anonymousfemale Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797Limbo |
LMFAO@Allans "*coughMASTERcough*" You nutter. Zu, the piece was pretty good. Feelings like this totally suck. Thanks for the read. ~AF~ Know what you want. Become your real self. |
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Marshalzu
since 2001-02-15
Posts 2681Lurking |
For some reason all my old stuff is being dragged up... not that I am complaining... I just love being the centre of attention Zu |
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Terryloveiris_85 Member
since 2001-04-23
Posts 61The middle of nowhere |
*HUGS*i really liked this poem despite your feelings in it.nicce job though. ~IRIS i'd give eternity to be by your side-goo goo dolls/City of Angels soundtrack |
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