Teen Poetry #4 |
I need....I want.....someone |
Ina Senior Member
since 2000-10-09
Posts 1236Quebec, Canada |
Well this poem is connected to my recent poems. They all deal with really one issue. A friend who passed on, not too long ago. i really would like if you were very critqui on my poem....enjoy. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The black swells of darkness crash against the walls of my mind a slow, nagging pain stretches across the vacant planes of my mind my blank stare captures the once animated, beautiful face a life I wanted never appears, only disappears, all i wanted was a friend someone to talk to you,someone who didn't pretend to listen I don't need perfection, I dont want it Waking up, feeling loved, someone showing me that there is actually something worth living for I need reassurance, real reassurance that Im alright, that everything will be fine The world rests on my shoulders, can someone help me carry it? I need to tell my story without being judged....I need a listener I can't be the listener forever I need to cry on someone's shoulder, someone to lean on Regina |
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© Copyright 2001 Regina Levy - All Rights Reserved | |||
Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
I thought this poem was pretty much a cry for love and tenderness. You can find somebody like that.....but it's hard ya know? I'm sorry you don't have a shoulder to lean on Regi, but us at passions could be a replacement for the time being. Mua.....much love here. I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. I'm in love with my shadow I admire it daily |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
very emotional cry Ina if you need someone to talk to, just tell me ok? please take this offer into consideration at least talk to you soon "So long as men can breathe or eyes can see, So long lives this, and this give life to thee." W.S. |
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Chel Senior Member
since 2000-07-01
Posts 511Baltimore, MD, USA |
strong emotions. i liked it. keep up the great work. i hope you dont feel pain forever. keep your head up, and realize your friend is in a good place even though they aren't here. great poem. chel "True friends stab you in the front" "Never say 'I Love You' unless you mean it" |
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bigfuzzybear Junior Member
since 2001-04-29
Posts 11 |
i like it ina it very good. i want you to know i am ALWAYS here for you no matter what forever, love you brad |
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vixengrl04 Member
since 2001-04-26
Posts 495East Haddam, CT |
This was soo sad... I really felt the emotions in this piece, and I did like it. I think everyone needs someone to listen to them, no matter what the situation. I hope that you find someone to listen to you, and if not, feel free to E-mail me anytime [email protected] I do not know you, but am always free to listen. Hang in there hun. ~*Nikki*~ ~*Of all the millions of people in the world, I'm just me.*~ |
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Ina Senior Member
since 2000-10-09
Posts 1236Quebec, Canada |
this is really old! Brad stop bring up my old posts! you cant just repy to mine....its not right.... Regina glad u all like it "Take a look at my face, there's no price I won't pay |
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keoni Senior Member
since 2000-10-16
Posts 850Up in the mountains in the NFC |
Never saw this one from you Ina. I liked it, it may be old but I thought I'd reply anyway. Not one of my fav.'s from you but it was good. Byt the way, I like your signature.I know it sounds retarded for me to say, but Bon Jovi is on of my favorite bands, really meaningful lyrics. I'm done now Jon "Your anger is a gift"-Rage Against The Machine |
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Suga_Baby Member
since 2000-08-06
Posts 380Maine, USA |
Oh boy, do I know how you feel... wonderfully written, Ina! "A dream is a wish your heart makes while you are fast asleep." |
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