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Teen Poetry #4
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Box of Riddles
| Teen Poetry #4 |
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Box of Riddles |
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Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg 
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(Did you ever have a goodbye that could not be said, because if you said it, it would mean something else? This poem was written out of pure emotion, so it is a free-verse. There is one rhyme staining it, but I left it as is. Its existence means something that might be key in the message. I have written this to express, not to impress. So it is not a good poem. But I wrote it, and seeing as how close I am to all of you, I decided it fair to post. Thank you all for everything that you have ever done for me.) There once was a box of riddles prettied in pink for all to see And by there once was, I mean to report that the puzzle box had died And why do I despair? if truly there was nothing to find a puzzle box, without a solution and a whispering in my ear I fell in love with a puzzle box a winder of lies, a weaver of pride I held it tight and told it tales and made a promise When we made love, it was in words The puzzle box a thrashing gave A verbal masochist I was Euphoria, just above my grave Like a fool, I solved the riddle And now I am alone. The whispering in my ear was all that ever loved me. |
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| © Copyright 2001 Brian James Lee - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Starr Member
since 2001-02-08
Posts 100 |
This is a very emotional poem. It is very nice in keeping with the way you expressed your self. Not the best I've seen you write but nicely written. Keep on expressing your self..  Every action of our lives touches some chord that will vibrate in eternity. |
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Elvenblood Member
since 2001-02-17
Posts 409Maine, USA |
Poetry was meant to express. I use it as af orm of expression. But writing, I stop myself from literally shredding my soul and killing myself! lol, so if I stop posting, there's a problem! Anyway, I love this poem, and it's going into the library because it has a very good meaning at the end. "Some men see things as they are and say why. I dream things that never were and say why not." ~RFK |
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Ina Senior Member
since 2000-10-09
Posts 1236Quebec, Canada |
i have no words to express how i feel. i said a couple already to u...but in truth, the beauty of pure emotion is too great and already experess what needs to be said. I stand up and clap for u Allan! Regina |
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Angel in Flight Member
since 2001-01-07
Posts 381 |
I have a very lot I could say about this and exactly how it made me feel reading this for the 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, and 20th final time wondering if what you said is true. I Have built enough courage now to reply to this, although, this is not a reply at all, but rather a coming out of my shell of self and trying my best to open up to all of you. Altough, for me is a very hard thing to do, but regardless of that, Allan, I am happy you were able to let your emotions out and If it by writing this you became happy. Then so shall I be happy for your happiness. Into my library this will go when I need a reminder about myself and what I am, was, and have become. Sealed with love ~*~ Destiny~* The law of harvest is to reap more than you sow.Sow a habit and you reap a character.Sow a character and you reap a destiny [This message has been edited by Angel in Flight (edited 02-25-2001).] |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Wow nicely done here and Angel in Flights reply just makes me say Awwwwww..... I thought this was a nice write.  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. I'm in love with my shadow I admire it daily |
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jeremydraul Senior Member
since 2000-08-01
Posts 1118State of Despair |
Hah! Pure brilliance! This was absolutely wonderful... what a perfectly written poem... *steals his poem and throws it into the library* JR When life dims to a perish, my life will become a quote in itself... |
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Chel Senior Member
since 2000-07-01
Posts 511Baltimore, MD, USA |
Great poem. Keep up the great work. It did have a lot of expression and that is very good, I think. Anyway, like I said before, keep up the great work. Chel "True friends stab you in the front" "Never say 'I Love You' unless you mean it" |
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fractal007 Senior Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 1958 |
Allan: I think you've expressed your emotions quite well. Your free verse is quite a bit better than mine, lol. I started out writing free verse, but wasn't all that great at it. You can see my earliest poetry mostly in the Dark Passions sections of my poems. Anyhow, I think that this free verse was quite beautiful. |
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anonymousfemale Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797Limbo |
Ahh...Absolutely wonderful!! Just pure brilliance at work right here. I like your free verse. It gives it that loose feeling but still keeps the poem tighter than ever. An interesting way to describe the scenario..as a puzzle box. Very well done Allan. ~AF~ "Love makes us poets and the approach of death should make us philosophers." ~ George Santayana [This message has been edited by anonymousfemale (edited 02-26-2001).] |
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keoni Senior Member
since 2000-10-16
Posts 850Up in the mountains in the NFC |
Allan, I would not criticize this piece. I believe it is very good. There's no way to go wrong when your writing with your emotions. Rhyming or not, making sense to others, these things don't matter when you are writing this type of piece because it is solely for you, to get your feelings out.But I still have to say this was a great piece. Jon "Your anger is a gift"-Rage Against The Machine |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
Seems like you've gotten all the praises that can be said. Well, to tell you the truth, thi spoem makes me so surious i ask myself, "Why would someone write such a poem?" all in all, it was brilliant thanks for the read "So long as men can breathe or eyes can see, So long lives this, and this give life to thee." W.S. |
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Jenn Cirrincione
since 2000-07-02
Posts 2107Fl |
Hmmmm, Allan, is it true? Writing from pure emotion? Wow. Sometimes emotions are good afterall.  I liked this, it was really good, lots of symbolism. Kudos. I hope that by bringing this up, I'm not making you recall any sad memories. I really liked this. Jenn "If it's wrong to love you, then my heart just won't let me be right, cause I'm drowned in you, and I won't pull through without you by my side." Mari |
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knightlyshadows Senior Member
since 2001-04-14
Posts 791obscured vision |
i love how u used the box of riddles in this. and then the last stanza just took my breath away. made me hurt  which isnt an all bayads thing i suppose since this was such an emotional piece. im glad i have this look into your soul and i agree with jenn that i hope this isnt bringing up any bad memories or feelings *hugs* i love ya allan.into my library this shall go along with prollys the majority of your other work. tiff  “A single choice can build destinies,or destroy them.” |
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mistic Member
since 2001-05-06
Posts 233Idaho, U.S.A. |
This is an excellent piece, like all of your work I really liked it. Thanks for sharing |
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fozzyozzy Member
since 2001-03-15
Posts 336Lessburg Virginia |
Allan you blow me away yet again. I mean wow in every single way possible jaw dropping. "The heart can think of no devotion |
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anonymous albert ?
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
wonderful poem allan...this is quite different from your other poetry...thats why i probably enjoyed it more...great job and hope to see more...  ...?if i die before i wake , i pray the lord my soul will take-"when thugs cry" |
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Fading Away
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia |
Very different from what I usually see, Allan. I was very surprised to see a free verse by you. You should write free verse more often, because this poem is truly beautiful. The raw emotion in the poem was touching. Wonderful work. I enjoyed this. --Marie "You're the girl of my nightmares, erotic and skull-faced. |
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