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Teen Poetry #4
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Comments more than welcome please...just going through some changes
| Teen Poetry #4 |
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Comments more than welcome please...just going through some changes |
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Ceinwyn Member Elite
since 2000-07-09
Posts 2175VA 
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I was told I should send this to Sarah McLachlan and see if she'd make a song outta of it:P but I don't think it's all that great but it does relieve some stress..going through some tough changes with my step mum and they're really actually kicking me out now..ohh well for nothing really but tell me what you think and *whispers* I dedicate this one to my step mum... 19 Feb 01 You can keep your words and disillusionments Neatly tucked within your pants pocket And I'll just brush each and everyone of them off I can do without all of this negativity So I'll just keep on walking while you trail behind in my dust And as God as my witness and Angels by my side I will no longer hide within the shadows of your hallow lies You think you know me all too well And try your hardest to spell out my intentions By grasping onto dead air When in all actuality you never really did care I've caught onto your kind Telling lies to save face And to quickly hold on before you fell to grace Look in the mirror and tell me what you really see Is it really you or is it really me? I'll keep on praying untill the day that I die That I continue to have this strength as I swallow All of your bitter lies I'm not the problem that lies within It is you; the one who has committed the adultrious sin ------ Sorry for any misspellings!! Tell me what you think please  "Let me be the one you call, if you jump I'll break your fall, lift you up and fly away with you into the night" ~Crash and Burn~ |
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| © Copyright 2001 Kristen Brandon - All Rights Reserved | |||
Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
WOW!!! This is absolutely wonderful you've shown you anger by peening it beautifully what else can I say This is a most wonderful write keep it up So long as men can breathe or eyes can see, So long lives this, and this give life to thee." W.S. |
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Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
~I~ think that your poetry is even more entertaining than your replies.  hehe... seriously. This was a great piece! I enjoyed it immensely. It is difficult for me to like a poem that is religious in nature, but I actually did this one. So feel like some sort of miracle worker.  I'll talk to you later. -Allan The unintelligent are merely tools for the intelligent. That would make my house a veritable toolshed. ~~Allan Riverwood |
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Tears of Glass Member
since 2000-12-04
Posts 182Physically? VA.... Mentally? I'm not quite sure |
"You think you know me all too well And try your hardest to spell out my intentions By grasping onto dead air When in all actuality you never really did care" This is beautiful! I loved it! keep posting... *Jennifer "My nightmare isn't fearing what I dream... It's waking up, knowing what I'll see." |
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Elvenblood Member
since 2001-02-17
Posts 409Maine, USA |
Hey, this is absolutely fantastic stuff. I love it! "Some men see things as they are and say why. I dream things that never were and say why not." ~RFK |
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Lakewalker Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289On the streets w/ people |
Excellent job on this poem! It was written really well, the flow was great, it had a good message. I like it "Disagreements stimulate thought, thought stimulates action, and action stimulates life." --Lakewalker http://www.therainforestsite.com |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
The last line......adultery......did she cheat on your dad or something? Explain this poem. nicely written though.  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. I'm in love with my shadow I admire it daily |
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CocoBaci Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 3043 |
That I continue to have this strength as I swallow all of your bitter lies I'm not the problem that lies within it is you Ceinwyn, your write touched my heart and it reflects inner strength to rise above the deceipt from the past... Hugs2u4 sharing a touching write ~coco~ [This message has been edited by CocoBaci (edited 02-25-2001).] |
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jeremydraul Senior Member
since 2000-08-01
Posts 1118State of Despair |
absolutely tantalizing! i loved it so much, i can hear it on the radio now..... JR When life dims to a perish, my life will become a quote in itself... |
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