Teen Poetry #4 |
In the Hollow |
Tears of Glass Member
since 2000-12-04
Posts 182Physically? VA.... Mentally? I'm not quite sure |
Red, we were an amiable two Blue, our tight days were few. Green, how I longed for your approve Black, within you only will I move. Rainbows of a life shed in haste, Strewn across my field of waste. Tapestries torn all too soon From bigger, then smaller room. Pantry staples suffer in dust, From neglect and spite amidst lust. Mirrors cracked, or covered, or both, Never again to warm imagining youth. Empty, cold, pervades a bed, Too comforting, hence ignored, In the war of her ambiguity. Forevermore relinquished of pretty.. Love left lonely and aloof, Shelved along with rational proof Of worth, world, purpose, and family. Destitution of likeness has invaded this anomaly. *Jennifer "My nightmare isn't fearing what I dream... It's waking up, knowing what I'll see." |
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© Copyright 2001 Jennifer M. - All Rights Reserved | |||
Elvenblood Member
since 2001-02-17
Posts 409Maine, USA |
That's quite the moving piece there. Thought provoking too. "Some men see things as they are and say why. I dream things that never were and say why not." ~RFK |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
Probably one of your best theat i've read. you did a marvelous job on this one Jenn So long as men can breathe or eyes can see, So long lives this, and this give life to thee." W.S. |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Well I liked it, but not as much as some of your others. A bit of a change though within the form of your expression. I liked it. I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. I'm in love with my shadow I admire it daily |
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Child of the Stars
since 2000-09-07
Posts 1658Ann Arbor, MI |
WOW. Ok...wow. I loved this..... ~Carly "Nature is not only all that is visible to the eye--it also includes the inner pictures of the soul." ~Edvard Munch |
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jeremydraul Senior Member
since 2000-08-01
Posts 1118State of Despair |
it was real good... the theme was awesome but with all due respect, your rhyme scheme was off a little.. just a little suggestion. Other than that it was delighting JR When life dims to a perish, my life will become a quote in itself... |
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Neokrew Member
since 2000-12-24
Posts 60VA |
hey babe, Good poem even though I am slow and did not quite get it you know I have been talking to chester peoplt to long just kidding love ya --Neo |
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