Teen Poetry #4 |
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Bottle of Emotion |
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Tamma![]() ![]() ![]()
since 2000-01-17
Posts 794In His Arms, Harpers Ferry, WV ![]() |
I’m just a bottle of emotion And when my heart’s broken I can’t help but explode Into a mess of tears I’m just a bottle of emotion Ops, the cork flew off!! And now everyone knows That I’m not heartless And that I do feel pain And this hurts my heart I’m just a bottle of emotion Ops the cork flew off!! I let them see a part of me That I don’t like to share I didn’t want them to see How much pain I’m really in I’m just a bottle of emotion Ops the cork flew off!! They saw me in pain And all they did was laugh Which just made me cry harder But I had a friend by my side I’m just a bottle of emotion Ops the cork flew off!! I yelled a lil loud Said some words I didn’t mean They looked at me funny And laughed at my tears I’m just a bottle of emotion Ops the cork flew off!! It’s not my fault I couldn’t hold them back Don’t look at me like that I’ll just cry harder I’m just a bottle of emotion . . . www.angelfire.com/wv2/poetrycorner I'm just a girl looking at a guy asking him to love me |
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© Copyright 2001 Tamma M. Wilson - All Rights Reserved | |||
jeremydraul Senior Member
since 2000-08-01
Posts 1118State of Despair |
very good... loved the repetition of the "oops..." line. That was very creative. My fav. part was: "I’m just a bottle of emotion And when my heart’s broken I can’t help but explode Into a mess of tears" Keep smiling ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() JR When life dims to a perish, my life will become a quote in itself... |
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Acies![]()
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
Tamma --- smile and we did know you also have emotions who said you never did? hang in there...ok? be strong I'll be here if you need someone to talk to "So long as men can breathe or eyes can see, So long lives this, and this give life to thee." W.S. |
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~sugarpie313~ Member
since 2000-09-14
Posts 375Maine, USA |
this is wicked wicked good (sorry with the main-ah talk) hehe. i love it! i love the picture you give me of someone crackin open a bottle of champagne... and all the crap coming out. i love it. ~*Valerie*~ *Life can take your dreams and turn them upside down, Friends will talk about you when you're not around, but don't ever lose that light in your eyes* |
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Dopey Dope![]()
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Aren't we all just bottles of emotions? Nicely said here.......I like the whole comparison of you and a bottle of emotion. very nicely thought out. ![]() I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. I'm in love with my shadow I admire it daily |
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Chel Senior Member
since 2000-07-01
Posts 511Baltimore, MD, USA |
Tamma, great piece. Very emotional. I liked it. I will be here if you need someone to talk to. Til then keep up the great work. Chel "True friends stab you in the front" "Never say 'I Love You' unless you mean it" |
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Allan Riverwood![]() ![]()
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
I thought it was good. The tone was confusing, but I realized later that it was your intent to create such a confusing tone. The repitition of the line was what made me think this. It sounded kind of sarcastic, a bit playful and almost comical. But the sorrow behind the rest made it stand out somehow. I was going to say change this but... on second thought the confusing tone gives the piece an edge. Great job, Tamma. ~Allan Stupidity makes the world go around...and people like us laugh. ~~Elizabeth, to Allan |
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Ski*Chick Member
since 2001-01-13
Posts 141Fitchburg, Mass, Usa |
Tamma, sometimes I feel like that because no one understands how I feel about things. Then they see my pain, I turn around and leave. Just keep smiling ![]() ![]() [This message has been edited by Ski*Chick (edited 03-04-2001).] |
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Child of the Stars![]() ![]() ![]()
since 2000-09-07
Posts 1658Ann Arbor, MI |
Sowwy it took me a bit to reply. I love this. You know I do. ![]() ~Carly "The eye sees a thing more clearly in dreams than the imagination awake." - Leonardo da Vinci |
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DancinQueen![]()
since 2000-07-29
Posts 1092Kokomo,IN,USA |
great poem here~ i especially liked the oops the cork flew off part ![]() *dq ¤Sometimes the hardest thing to get over, is something you never really had¤ |
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branden726![]() ![]()
since 2000-09-25
Posts 607Bay City, MI |
Hey this old friend is back! And heck the poetry will start again for me. But hey Tamma hows it going? Good I hope I love your poem and hope everythign is okay i haven heard from you in a while. ~Love~ Branden |
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Tamma![]() ![]() ![]()
since 2000-01-17
Posts 794In His Arms, Harpers Ferry, WV |
library addition... |
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