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Teen Poetry #4
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| Teen Poetry #4 |
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Stars |
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Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg 
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As I look into the sky, through the lamplight and fog blanket I frown, sadly, to myself, I can't see a single star What you'd said held such great beauty, what brings laughter to your visage what illuminates the night, from a distance oh so far If their glow brings you a smile, then I hope they'll not stop shining If their warmth provides you strength, then don't ever let them die While I look into the lamplight, wishing that I could observe them Can they see me standing here? Do they know of you and I? As the snow torments my face, and the wind and cold surrounds me All the thoughts that bring me fear, all my pain begins to fade I lay back into the banks, and I gaze into my eyelids To a dream of lovers found, to a dream of what I've prayed If their glow brings you a smile, then I hope they'll not stop shining If the distance never gives, then at least you'll still be here Looking up into the fog, at the stars that I cannot see In the snowbank at my side, where you are forever near [This message has been edited by Allan Riverwood (edited 02-18-2001).] |
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| © Copyright 2001 Brian James Lee - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Greeneyes617 Member
since 2000-11-22
Posts 329Arkansas |
I like it, Allan!  Hehe I love these little boucin' blobs. Great job on the poem. |
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jeremydraul Senior Member
since 2000-08-01
Posts 1118State of Despair |
very romantic my man, nice job on this one, i love the night sky, nice job portraying it Jeremy Life is fading me away, far away, but I’m sketching myself back, line by line, mark by mark. |
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katherine Member
since 2000-06-10
Posts 365Canberra Australia |
i love it! great job as usual. ~kate~ |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
oh, Mr. Valentino  very romantic poem indeed beautiful expression of thoughts thanks for sharing So long as men can breathe or eyes can see, So long lives this, and this give life to thee." W.S. |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
VERY VERY VERY nicely written allan. I am impressed here. This love poem is simply wonderful. I couldn't have done any better than this.....like......ever. Nice!  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. I'm in love with my shadow I admire it daily |
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LoveBug
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697 |
Oh my gosh, this is a magnificant piece. I absolutely love everything about this. Everything is perfect. This is going in my library. Thanks for sharing, my talented friend!  "Men judge generally more by the eye than by the hand, for everyone can see and few can feel."-Machiavelli |
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Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
Yay. I wrote a decent love poem. My long wait is finally over. ^_^ When the sun dies, and the earth is thrown off its axis, the two of us will still, at that moment, be thinking of one another. ~~Allan, to Amanda |
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HiddenSparklez Member
since 2000-12-29
Posts 190British Columbia, Canada |
You were having troubles writing a romantic poem?? My favorite part of the poem: As the snow torments my face, and the wind and cold surrounds me All the thoughts that bring me fear, all my pain begins to fade I lay back into the banks, and I gaze into my eyelids To a dream of lovers found, to a dream of what I've prayed  "You do what you do, you say what you say, you try to be everything to everyone... come on now, do that stupid dance for me" -Everclear |
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Angel in Flight Member
since 2001-01-07
Posts 381 |
Allan, This is indeed a Magnificent poem you have wrote!! My favorite of yours by far and after this reply it will stay safely secured within my "private" library. I can only hope that one day those stars will shine for you and perhaps guide you wherever your heart wishes to take you...... So you may also enjoy a smile, warmth, and strength to keep going on your journey always, and after that happens you may realize something others already see within you. ~Sincerely Amanda~ The law of harvest is to reap more than you sow.Sow a habit and you reap a character.Sow a character and you reap a destiny |
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Lakewalker Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289On the streets w/ people |
Yes this is good, really good. I like it, great job  "Disagreements stimulate thought, thought stimulates action, and action stimulates life." --Lakewalker http://www.therainforestsite.com |
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Elvenblood Member
since 2001-02-17
Posts 409Maine, USA |
I loveit!!! I love the stars!! lol Good piece of work there "Some men see things as they are and say why. I dream things that never were and say why not." ~RFK |
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fractal007 Senior Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 1958 |
Allan: I just LOVE a good poem that's set at night. This was definitely a good poem of that nature. You've done a great job here, tying both natural phenomena in with emotions such as love. |
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Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
Excellent writing Allan! You've set a wonderfully romantic mood in this lovely and tender piece ... very nicely done indeed! Best wishes, /Kit |
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Starr Member
since 2001-02-08
Posts 100 |
I love this poem... One reason is for name sake, but mainly for the wording & the love story behind it.. I absolutely love it |
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DancinQueen
since 2000-07-29
Posts 1092Kokomo,IN,USA |
*sigh* loved it especially for some personal reasons ...brings back memories of something. keep it up kid haha since i AM older AND the queen ...you're just the one that sits in the slightly smaller chair to my left lol remember?? love ya babe*dq ¤Sometimes the hardest thing to get over, is something you never really had¤ |
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Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
DancinQueen- How could I forget? Kiley, the Queen of Evil. Hah... where were you today? I waited at the Statue of Liberty for ~HOURS~ and you didn't show. ~_^ You had better be there tomorrow. The unintelligent are merely tools for the intelligent. That would make my house a veritable toolshed. ~~Allan Riverwood |
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anonymousfemale Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797Limbo |
Allan, this is just beautiful. I can't see the stars tonight so I know how you feel. Gee, I am reading all these poems tonight..well this morning that are bringing back memories. A romantic mood usually does that though. It's a terrific display of your great talent. Keep it up Mr Riverwood. ~AF~ "Love makes us poets and the approach of death should make us philosophers." ~ George Santayana |
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Chel Senior Member
since 2000-07-01
Posts 511Baltimore, MD, USA |
This poem was truly romantic, like everyone else had stated. Anyway, great poem. I loved reading it. Hope to read more great works from you. Chel "True friends stab you in the front" "Never say 'I Love You' unless you mean it" |
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knightlyshadows Senior Member
since 2001-04-14
Posts 791obscured vision |
just addin this to my library..... “A single choice can build destinies,or destroy them.” |
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stace_co2003 Member
since 2001-03-30
Posts 497In a dream world |
awww, that is sweet. I especially love the ending. that's the best part of the poem (not saying the rest wasn't pretty darn good). I think this may be the first poem I've read by you, but I can't remember...my mind is old and decrepid, but I'm only 16...it's a cruel world. but I look forward to reading your next poem...  Stace I'm just glad that now this rainstorm has ended, and I can see the rainbow once again. |
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anonymous albert ?
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
you written this very well...i really like dit ...mr.romantic  ...hahah...graet job!...bye  i'm addicted to passions in poetry!...are you? |
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fractal007 Senior Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 1958 |
Sweet imagery in this poem. I really liked the darker wintery type images here. Great job! I think this works great as a dramatic monologue. "If history is to change, let it change. If the world is to be destroyed, so be it. If my fate is to die, I must simply laugh" |
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