A Poet Lost Her Mind Upon the Death of Yesternight

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Child of the Stars

Senior Member

since 2000-09-07

Posts 1658
Ann Arbor, MI

0 posted 2001-04-01 03:56 PM

                                                                        Flip the switch
                          Turn off
the Luminating Beams
   that are staring
            at
   your mind

Naked
           before the judge, before
      the world
before your fall, you
           cry
"the blankets are inadequate"
       to cover
   all
distaste

make haste,
      and melt
dissapate
                 the darkness
flip the switch
                              welcome back
make a wish
                      and pray
            to moonlit shadows
that the pupils
                         soon will fade

Elvenblood
Member

since 2001-02-17

Posts 409
Maine, USA

1 posted 2001-04-01 04:38 PM

This is very cool Carly! I like your work a lot, you should post more often!

"Some men see things as they are and say why.
I dream things that never were and say why not." ~RFK

StarPryncess17
Senior Member

since 2000-05-31

Posts 932
Colorado

2 posted 2001-04-01 04:48 PM

nice work carly! I was very impressed by the form...it's not too often that you see totally abstract clauses. thanks so much for sharing this...i just had a new idea...thanks!

~*~Jesilyn~*~

"Tell me why you cry"

anonymous albert ?

Member Elite

since 2001-03-23

Posts 2979

3 posted 2001-04-01 05:00 PM

ahhh i'm all dizzy lookin back and forth....
anyhow that was a good poem there
hehe

keep writin

Fading Away

Member Elite

since 2001-03-14

Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia

4 posted 2001-04-01 07:07 PM

The title to this one really caught my eye. I like the format, it really adds to the poem. Nice job, Carly, I always enjoy reading your work.

--Marie

It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives.

Morouxshi San
Member

since 2000-10-11

Posts 207
San Juan, Puerto Rico

5 posted 2001-04-01 08:48 PM

you know i love your work carly so i wont even mention it

i think that the format was wonderful and really adds to the poem

San, the wise
San, the dumb
San, the guy...

[This message has been edited by Morouxshi San (edited 04-01-2001).]

IsGona
Senior Member

since 2000-07-14

Posts 723

6 posted 2001-04-01 11:09 PM

wonderful
you amaze me every time
SUCH TALENT! SUCH TALENT!
don't forget me when your famous
Jason

Allan Riverwood

Member Elite

since 2001-01-04

Posts 3502
Winnipeg

7 posted 2001-04-02 12:20 PM

Yessir.

The sun was born, so it shall die. ~VNV Nation, "Further"

JBaker515

Member

since 2001-02-28

Posts 458
Dartmouth College

8 posted 2001-04-02 01:04 AM

Thats pretty darn neat there carly, i liked it a a lot!! Keep posting!!

Poet on Acid
Member

since 2001-01-07

Posts 325
Florida, USA

9 posted 2001-04-02 04:19 AM

Whoa, as always from you this was a great piece. Keep it up Carly.

>¶ØÊ†<

Ina
Senior Member

since 2000-10-09

Posts 1236
Quebec, Canada

10 posted 2001-04-02 01:46 PM

The format of this piece really helped with reading the poem. amazing!

regina

a small cut is only the beggining of a life in pain

Lakewalker
Member Elite

since 2000-08-05

Posts 3289
On the streets w/ people

11 posted 2001-04-02 05:55 PM

*Ding ding ding!* Yup yup, it's a winner.

"Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle"
Unknown

banburycross
Senior Member

since 2001-03-27

Posts 946
viginia

12 posted 2001-04-02 06:15 PM

The poem is very good and the format is wonderful you are a very talented writer.

Child of the Stars

Senior Member

since 2000-09-07

Posts 1658
Ann Arbor, MI

13 posted 2001-04-03 10:18 AM

Shank you, shank you all you wunnerful peeple!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
~Carly

Many miles behind my eyelashes, there always seems to be
the strangest things, the slightly sane, that only I can see...

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

14 posted 2001-04-03 07:40 PM

I liked this. I have read better from you carly but I did think the formatting and poem itself was quite original.

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

Acies

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-06-07

Posts 7665
Twilight Zone

15 posted 2001-04-09 10:52 PM

Marvelous job Carly.....
All your poems make me envy your talent
keep sharing

"So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this give life to thee." W.S.

Marshalzu

Member Elite

since 2001-02-15

Posts 2681
Lurking

16 posted 2001-04-10 09:11 AM

Great poem Carly, I really loved the format.

" No Army can conquer a galaxy, yet faith alone can overturn the universe."

anonymous albert ?

Member Elite

since 2001-03-23

Posts 2979

17 posted 2001-05-26 03:19 AM

*bump*...page one

this was a nice poem...and check out this poems format

ahhhhh....i'm addicted to passions in poetry!!!!!

[This message has been edited by anonymous albert ? (edited 05-26-2001).]

Erin
Member Elite

since 2000-06-15

Posts 2527
~Chicago~

18 posted 2001-05-26 05:13 AM

Carly~
This is so unique and so good! I like the way you formatted it too!! Keep it up!

"If you should die before me, ask if you could bring a friend."

kaile

Member Ascendant

since 2000-02-06

Posts 5146
singapore

19 posted 2001-05-26 07:05 AM

i am glad that this was bumped up...but to satisfy my curiousity, may i ask why the words "Luminating Beams" are capped?

an original subject matter done wonderfully...

Jenn Cirrincione

Member Elite

since 2000-07-02

Posts 2107
Fl

20 posted 2001-05-26 08:03 AM

Sorry I missed this the first time! But I loved the format, and the poem was really interesting. Great job here.

Jenn

"If it's wrong to love you, then my heart just won't let me be right, cause I'm drowned in you, and I won't pull through without you by my side." Mari

LoveBug

Moderator

Member Elite

since 2000-01-08

Posts 4697

21 posted 2001-05-26 09:07 AM

Free verse!!!!!!!

And your free verse hold just as much beauty and wisdom as your structured pieces do. I enjoyed this one a lot, thanks for sharing.

"Men judge generally more by the eye than by the hand, for everyone can see and few can feel."-Machiavelli

Child of the Stars

Senior Member

since 2000-09-07

Posts 1658
Ann Arbor, MI

22 posted 2001-05-26 12:32 PM

Whoa this one's kinda old....thanks for the bump mister Al. I think I capitalized that because my audience is a proper noun. Always being watched, even in the darkness...those eyes are always there. I can't get away, especially from Mom and Dad (notice, capitalized). I hope that makes sense...Thanks again, everyone.

~Carly

"Go outside and use your own eyes. You'll be surprised to see things you've never been taught..."
~Edouard Manet

anonymousfemale
Member Elite

since 2000-02-02

Posts 2797
Limbo

23 posted 2001-05-27 07:48 AM

Thanks for the explanation, Carly. It's a very well written piece that you should be extremely proud of.

Keep 'em coming.

~AF~

"I'm not a slave to a God that doesn't exist."
Manson - The Fight Song

vixengrl04
Member

since 2001-04-26

Posts 495
East Haddam, CT

24 posted 2001-05-27 11:56 AM

Wow this was really different, and I liked it alot. Definitely something that I enjoyed.

~*Nikki*~

~*Of all the millions of people in the world, I'm just me.*~

obscurity of cloud
Member

since 2001-05-11

Posts 294
....:::::******:::::....

25 posted 2001-05-27 12:46 PM

I love the uniqueness of your format here! Nice Manet quote.

"so when at times the mob is swayed to carry praise or blame too far, we may choose something like a star" --Frost

knightlyshadows
Senior Member

since 2001-04-14

Posts 791
obscured vision

26 posted 2001-05-27 01:28 PM

CarlAy!!!! ooo this was sooooooo neatOish.
*hugs* loves ya muchs hunnAy

i wanna c mores

tiff

“A single choice can build destinies,or destroy them.”

Just leave me alone and give me some space.

Deranger
Member

since 2000-05-10

Posts 498
Somewhere, between here and there

27 posted 2001-05-27 05:28 PM

One of the greatest sensations is to see someone mature. You grown so much since i met you a year ago...

Spreading insanity, one post at a time

My skull has glowing green eyes!

Child of the Stars

Senior Member

since 2000-09-07

Posts 1658
Ann Arbor, MI

28 posted 2001-05-28 10:51 AM

Thanks everybody!!
And Alex man...thanks. That's huge..
~Carly

"Go outside and use your own eyes. You'll be surprised to see things you've never been taught..."
~Edouard Manet

Tears_of_a_Phoenix
New Member

since 2001-05-28

Posts 4
Ballarat, Vic

29 posted 2001-05-29 02:38 AM

Wow,
Truly brilliant stuff Carly!
Well done, i especially love the format
Cheers
- Conan

cherish
Senior Member

since 2001-03-25

Posts 1639
swimming in fairy floss...........

30 posted 2001-06-01 01:46 AM

yay..i enjoyed this quiet a lot carly...well done on the format...i wouldnt be unique in saying its unique..but yeah its unique and i loved the way it was written...well done!

"Life is not long and boring,
it's short and compelling." -Javier Agosto-

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