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Teen Poetry #4
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Daylight Colder
| Teen Poetry #4 |
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Daylight Colder |
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Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg 
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In the chambers of the species laying dormant in a garden of the flowers in the feces and the tears upon the floor In the winter, he arises shaking off the dust of slumber whilst the summer comprimises with its hand upon the door Without care, his fingers frosting touching plumage in the treetops How exciting, how exhausting Nonetheless he doesn't care Running back towards a binding leaving winter to its parent Chains of sunshine not reminding that the sun was never there Not disgruntled, growing older gazing out into the summer Dreaming days of daylight colder as a love provides him pain He shall dwell within the flowers whilst his rival kills his lover dripping tears that fall for hours to a steady, cold refrain |
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| © Copyright 2001 Brian James Lee - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Angel in Flight Member
since 2001-01-07
Posts 381 |
....Allan, I must say this poem truly made me cry. You have a LOT of deep thoughts and emotions in this one. Well done.. and hopefully all is well, and if not then I am here to make all well again. Love always~ And good luck with all that comes your way today and everyday in your future. You are strong and now is the time to show it. Life is like a storm, it passes you by without even knowing it~Amanda |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
honestly, i'm a little lost need help on this one pls explain thanks So long as men can breathe or eyes can see, So long lives this, and this give life to thee." W.S. |
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Greeneyes617 Member
since 2000-11-22
Posts 329Arkansas |
Great poem. I always enjoy reading your writting. You always amaze me. Kudos.  |
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Allysa 
since 1999-11-09
Posts 1952In an upside-down garden |
Great poem Allan, I'm a little lost though, but I like it none the same.  |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Very very nice job on this one. I especially loved the scheme in the ryhme......very nice. It flowed wonderfully allan. Uhhhh....the meaning of the poem.....i got the general part of it.....didn't much try to delve within symbols....but very very nice job nonetheless.  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. I'm in love with my shadow I admire it daily |
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fractal007 Senior Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 1958 |
Allan: The imagery in this poem is magnificant. The story told is beautifully interwoven with powerful imagery. Great work! |
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Lakewalker Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289On the streets w/ people |
Holy perfect flow, Batman! This one was great Allan, thanks for sharing it with us. "Disagreements stimulate thought, thought stimulates action, and action stimulates life." --Lakewalker http://www.thehungersite.com |
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